“Alas, when I look back, what a dreary waste appears! Seventeen years spent at home without a thought of God or salvation, though I had the benefit of family worship, and abundance of good advice. The succeeding four years I spent with Mr. E.,[1] principally in London, and its neighbourhood, exposed to every temptation. The first serious resolution I made of reformation was on the night of February 10, 1798, on which I heard of my mother’s death, which, occurring suddenly, was a great shock to me. I loved her most dearly, and had much reason to do so. Being totally ignorant, however, of my own depravity, and in darkness as it regarded the work of the Redeemer, I soon broke all my resolutions. In May 1798, I returned to my father: and, being removed from my temptations, I was in hope of effectually reforming myself; but, alas! on every convenient occasion, I became the prey of my former temptations. In the October of that year, we removed from Colsterworth to Grantham, where I became still more strict, attending every month at the Lord’s Table; but I was still ignorant of the way of salvation. In the summer of 1799, I was entered of Clare Hall, Cambridge; and before going into residence, I met frequently with Mr. G. N., who took much pains to direct my views aright; but I obstinately withstood him, and succeeded too fatally, I fear, in hardening C. against his admonitions. Still, I was destitute of true peace, and determined on greater strictness, such as fasting and penance, &c. &c. I went into residence at Cambridge, October 1799; but instead of further reformation, I spent my first year in a round of dissipation. Still, however, I maintained appearances, being seldom out of gates after ten o’clock, or being absent from chapel. I went occasionally to Trinity Church,[2] though I was much disgusted with what I heard there. During the summer of 1800, I had time for reflection, and returned to college in the autumn, with some faint desires of doing better. At Christmas of that year, I was appointed to an exhibition at Trinity Hall, and removed thither in the January of 1801. I now began to feel a growing attachment to Mr. Simeon’s ministry, although I seldom ventured to take a seat. Returning home in June 1801, reformed in a great degree in my outward conduct, and with desires the world could not satisfy, it was my happiness to find John Buckworth,[3] at his father’s; who, taking me to visit some religious people, I insensibly began to love their society, and to perceive that it was the way of life I desired to follow. I reflect with much gratitude on the kindness and forbearance of my friend Buckworth, who led me on by degrees, till I ventured to speak to him of my state; and from that time I have