Memorials and Other Papers — Volume 1De Quincey, Thomas
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Memorials and Other Papers — Volume 1
De Quincey, Thomas
English essays
never witnessed an expression of such settled misery, and also (so she
fancied) of misanthropy, as that which darkened my countenance in those
moments of apparent public triumph, no matter how trivial the occasion,
and amidst an uproar of friendly felicitation. I look back to that state
of mind as almost a criminal reproach to myself, if it were not for
the facts of the case. But, in excuse for myself, this fact, above
all others, ought to be mentioned--that, over and above the killing
oppression to my too sensitive system of the monotonous school tasks,
and the ruinous want of exercise, I had fallen under medical advice the
most misleading that it is possible to imagine. The physician and
the surgeon of my family were men too eminent, it seemed to me, and,
consequently, with time too notoriously bearing a high pecuniary
value, for any school-boy to detain them with complaints. Under these
circumstances, I threw myself for aid, in a case so simple that any
clever boy in a druggist's shop would have known how to treat it, upon
the advice of an old, old apothecary, who had full authority from my
guardians to run up a most furious account against me for medicine. This
being the regular mode of payment, inevitably, and unconsciously, he
was biased to a mode of treatment; namely, by drastic medicines varied
without end, which fearfully exasperated the complaint. This complaint,
as I now know, was the simplest possible derangement of the liver, a
torpor in its action that might have been put to rights in three days.
In fact, one week's pedestrian travelling amongst the Caernarvonshire
mountains effected a revolution in my health such as left me nothing to
complain of.
An odd thing happened by the merest accident. I, when my Alcaics had run
down their foolish larum, instead of resuming my official place as one
of the trinity who composed the head class, took a seat by the side of
Lady Carbery. On the other side of her was seated a stranger: and this
stranger, whom mere chance had thrown next to her, was Lord Belgrave,
her old and at one time (as some people fancied) favored suitor. In
this there was nothing at all extraordinary. Lord Grey de Wilton, an old
_alumnus_ of this Manchester Grammar School, and an _alumnus_ during
the early reign of this same _Archididascalus_, made a point of showing
honor to his ancient tutor, especially now when reputed to be decaying;
and with the same view he brought Lord Belgrave, who had become his
son-in-law after his rejection by Lady Carbery. The whole was a very
natural accident. But Lady Carbery was not sufficiently bronzed by
worldly habits to treat this accident with _nonchalance_. She did not
_to the public eye_ betray any embarrassment; but afterwards she told me
that no incident could have been more distressing to her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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