Memories: A Story of German LoveMüller, F. Max (Friedrich Max)
Religion
Memories: A Story of German Love
Müller, F. Max (Friedrich Max)
Müller, F. Max (Friedrich Max), 1823-1900; Religion historians -- Germany -- Biography
she was at that time. She was so helpless that she seemed like a
child, and yet was so serious and silent that she could not have been
one. When people alluded to her they involuntarily spoke gently and
softly. They called her "the angel," and I never heard anything said
of her that was not good and lovely. Often when I saw her lying so
silent and helpless, and thought that she would never walk again in
life, that there was for her neither work nor joy, that they would
carry her here and there upon her couch until they laid her upon her
eternal bed of rest, I asked myself why she had been sent into this
world, when she could have rested so gently on the bosom of the angels
and they could have borne her through the air on their white wings, as
I had seen in some sacred pictures. Again I felt as if I must take a
part of her burden, so that she need not carry it alone, but we with
her. I could not tell her all this for I knew it was not proper. I
had an indefinable feeling. It was not a desire to embrace her. No
one could have done that, for it would have wronged her. It seemed to
me as if I could pray from the very bottom of my heart that she might
be released from her burden.
One warm spring day she was brought into our room. She looked
exceedingly pale; but her eyes were deeper and brighter than ever, and
she sat upon her couch and called us to her. "It is my birth-day,"
said she, "and I was confirmed early this morning. Now, it is
possible," she continued as she looked upon her father with a smile,
"that God may soon call me to him, although I would gladly remain with
you much longer. But if I am to leave you, I desire that you should
not wholly forget me; and, therefore, I have brought a ring for each of
you, which you must now place upon the fore-finger. As you grow older
you can continue to change it until it fits the little finger; but you
must wear it for your lifetime."
With these words she took the five rings she wore upon her fingers,
which she drew off, one after the other, with a look so sad and yet so
affectionate, that I pressed my eyes closely to keep from weeping. She
gave the first ring to her eldest brother and kissed him, the second
and third to the two princesses, and the fourth to the youngest prince,
and kissed them all as she gave them the rings. I stood near by, and,
looking fixedly at her white hand, saw that she still had a ring upon
her finger; but she leaned back and appeared wearied. My eyes met
hers, and as the eyes of a child speak so loudly, she must have easily
known my thoughts, I would rather not have had the last ring, for I
felt that I was a stranger; that I did not belong to her, and that she
was not as affectionate to me as to her brothers and sisters. Then
came a sharp pain in my breast as if a vein had burst or a nerve had
been severed, and I knew not which way to turn to conceal my anguish.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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