Memories of My Life: Being My Personal, Professional, and Social Recollections as Woman and ArtistBernhardt, Sarah
General
Memories of My Life: Being My Personal, Professional, and Social Recollections as Woman and Artist
Bernhardt, Sarah
Actors -- Biography; Bernhardt, Sarah, 1844-1923; Women -- Biography
“The poor fellow still hoped, until he was killed,” said the father,
“and yet he has only been dead five weeks. He had three shots in his
head. The first shattered his jaw, but he did not fall. He continued
firing on the scoundrels like a man possessed. The second took his ear
off, and the third struck him in his right eye. He fell then, never to
rise again. His comrade told us all this. He was twenty-two years old.
And now—it’s all over!”
The unhappy man’s head fell back on the heap of pillows. His two inert
hands had let the papers fall, and great tears rolled down his pale
cheeks, in the furrows formed by grief. A stifled groan burst from his
lips. The girl had fallen on her knees and buried her head in the
bedclothes, to deaden the sound of her sobs. Soubise and I were
completely upset. Ah, those stifled sobs, those deadened groans seemed
to buzz in my ears, and I felt everything giving way under me. I
stretched my hands out into space and closed my eyes. Soon there was a
distant rumbling noise, which increased and came nearer, then yells of
pain, bones knocking against each other, horses’ feet making human
brains gush out with a dull, flabby sound; men barbed with iron passed
by like a destructive whirlwind, shouting: “_Vive_ the war!” And women
on their knees, with outstretched arms, crying out: “War is infamous! In
the name of our wombs which bore you, of our breasts which suckled you,
in the name of our pain in childbirth, in the name of our anguish over
your cradles, let this cease!”
But the savage whirlwind passed by, riding over the women. I stretched
my arms out in a supreme effort which woke me suddenly. I was lying in
the girl’s bed. Mlle. Soubise, who was near me, was holding my hand. A
man whom I did not know, but whom some one called “doctor,” laid me
gently down again on the bed. I had some difficulty in collecting my
thoughts.
“How long have I been here?” I asked.
“Since last night,” replied the gentle voice of Soubise. “You fainted,
and the doctor told us that you had an attack of fever. Oh, I have been
very frightened!” I turned my face to the doctor.
“Yes, dear lady,” he said, “you must be very prudent still for the next
forty-eight hours, and then you can set out again. But you have had a
great many shocks for one with such delicate health. You must be
careful.” I took the draught that he was holding out to me, apologized
to the owner of the house, who had just come in, and then turned round
with my face to the wall. I needed rest so very, very much.
Two days later I left our sad but congenial hosts. My traveling
companions had all disappeared. When I went downstairs I kept meeting
Prussians, for the unfortunate proprietor had been invaded compulsorily
by the German army. He looked at each soldier and at each officer,
trying to find out whether he were not the one who had killed his poor
boy. He did not tell me this, but it was my idea. It seemed to me that
such was his thought and such the meaning of his gaze.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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