Memories of My Life: Being My Personal, Professional, and Social Recollections as Woman and ArtistBernhardt, Sarah
General
Memories of My Life: Being My Personal, Professional, and Social Recollections as Woman and Artist
Bernhardt, Sarah
Actors -- Biography; Bernhardt, Sarah, 1844-1923; Women -- Biography
In the evening of that strange day the doctor came to tell me of the
birth of a child among the immigrants, in whom I was deeply interested.
I went at once to the mother and did all I could for the poor little
creature who had just come into the world. Oh, the dismal moans in that
dismal night in the midst of all that misery! Oh, that first strident
cry of the child affirming its will to live in the midst of all these
sufferings, of all these hardships, and of all these hopes! Everything
was there mingled together in that human medley—men, women, children,
rags and preserves, oranges and basins, heads of hair and bald pates,
half-open lips of young girls and tightly closed mouths of shrewish
women, white caps and red handkerchiefs, hands stretched out in hope and
fists clenched against adversity. I saw revolvers half concealed under
the rags, knives in the men’s belts. A sudden roll of the boat showed us
the contents of a parcel that had fallen from the hands of a rascally
looking fellow with a very decided expression on his face, and a hatchet
and a tomahawk fell to the ground. One of the sailors immediately seized
the two weapons to take them to the purser. I shall never forget the
scrutinizing glance of the man. He had evidently made a mental note of
the features of the sailor, and I breathed a fervent prayer that the two
might never meet in a solitary place.
I remember now with remorse the horrible disgust that took possession of
me when the doctor handed the child over to me to wash. That dirty
little red, moving, sticky object was a human being. It had a soul and
would have thoughts. I felt quite sick and I could never again look at
that child—although I was afterwards its godmother—without living over
again that first impression. When the young mother had fallen asleep I
wanted to go back to my cabin. The doctor helped me, but the sea was so
rough that we could scarcely walk at all among the packages and
immigrants. Some of them who were crouching on the floor watched us
silently as we tottered and stumbled along like drunkards. I was annoyed
at being watched by those malevolent, mocking eyes. “I say, doctor,” one
of the men called out, “the sea water gets in the head like wine. You
and your lady look as though you were coming back from a spree!” An old
woman clung to me as we passed. “Oh, madame!” she said, “shall we be
shipwrecked with the boats rolling like this? Oh, God! oh, God!” A tall
fellow with red hair and beard came forward and laid the poor old woman
down again gently. “You can sleep in peace, mother,” he said; “if we are
shipwrecked I swear there shall be more, saved down here than up on the
top.” He then came closer to me and continued in a defiant tone: “The
rich folks ... first class, into the sea! ... the immigrants—seconds, in
the boats!” As he uttered these words I heard a sly, stifled laugh from
everywhere, in front of me, behind, at the side, and even from under my
feet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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