Men, Women, and God: A Discussion of Sex Questions from the Christian Point of View — John Shaqi
Men, Women, and God: A Discussion of Sex Questions from the Christian Point of ViewGray, A. Herbert (Arthur Herbert)
Religion
Men, Women, and God: A Discussion of Sex Questions from the Christian Point of View
Gray, A. Herbert (Arthur Herbert)
Sexual ethics -- Early 20th century
I am not assuming that a fine comradeship is necessarily an easy thing
to achieve. I should be surprised if it were, for I know of no fine
things that can be attained easily. Comradeship between the sexes is
rapidly spoilt by "silliness." It has to be based upon a considerable
amount of restraint. It can be and it ought to be "jolly," but it
becomes a poor thing at once when either man or woman forgets dignity.
We are still at the experimental stage in traveling through this new
country that has opened up to us within the last twenty years; and if
that is a reason for being very charitable about mistakes, it is also a
reason for being alert to find the right paths.
I am very much impressed by the opportunity that lies before students
as a class in this matter. In most of our universities and colleges men
and women meet in the freest way, and they only and for themselves can
discover how this new kind of life is best conducted. College rules and
regulations are not going to do it for them. Indeed the older
generation is not going to do it for them. But if they will find out
the right way and establish for themselves the right standards and
conventions, they may do an immense service for the rest of the nation.
And I believe they are already in large measure doing this. My
experience has on the whole made me entirely hopeful, and has deepened
my faith in the fitness of men and women for freedom.
None the less and although I belong to the older generation, I propose
to offer some suggestions for this part of life. I cannot make much use
of the word "flirting." It has nearly as many different meanings as
Bolshevism. By some people it is applied to any high-spirited and happy
intercourse between men and women, in which case it signifies only a
right and good thing. Some people mean by it "playing at being in
love," in which case it is a silly and unworthy occupation which saps
the real love power in men and women. Others again mean by it the whole
bundle of silly and sentimental manners which some men and some women
assume when in the presence of the other sex, and in that sense of the
word flirting means just exactly the foolish thing that common sense
would declare it to be. What I am quite sure of is that success in this
comradeship between the sexes depends upon the discovery of a right way
which lies between the coldness which is the negation of good
fellowship, and the undue familiarity which is both dangerous and
undignified. We men have in the past been accustomed to boast that we
will go just as far towards familiarity as women will allow, and have
declared that this whole matter is one which women must regulate. Male
opinion on the whole used to regard a man as something less than a
sport who would not take liberties wherever he saw they would not be
resented. To use any sort of compulsion was indeed held to be
ungentlemanly, but short of that men have recognized no compulsion of
honor bidding them refrain from familiarities.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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