War stories, English; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
Above, the lights shone out unshaded, silhouetting the battle-cruiser
with lines of fire against the vault of heaven, sprinkled with the
golden dust of a myriad stars; while ceaselessly across the violet water
steam-pinnaces dashed backwards and forwards, carrying boatloads of
guests from the landing-stage, and then going back for more. At the top
of the gangway the admiral, immaculate in blue and gold, welcomed them
as they arrived; the flag-lieutenant, with the weight of much
responsibility on his shoulders, having just completed a last lightning
tour of the ship, only to discover a scarcity of hairpins in
the ladies' cloak-room, stood behind him. And in the wardroom the
engineer-commander--a Scotsman of pessimistic outlook--reviled with
impartiality all ball dances, adding a special clause for the one now
commencing. But then, off duty, he had no soul above bridge.
In this setting, then, appeared the starters for the Honks stakes on the
night in question, only, for the time being, the positions were
reversed. Now the Baron was the stranger in a strange land; Jerry was at
home--one of the hosts. Moreover, as has already been discreetly hinted,
there was a certain and very particular kala jugger. And into this very
particular kala jugger Jerry, in due course, piloted his adored one.
I am now coming to the region of imagination. I was not in that dim-lit
nook with them, and therefore I am not in a position to state with any
accuracy what occurred. But--and here I must be discreet--there was a
midshipman, making up in cheek and inquisitiveness what he lacked in
years and stature. Also, as I have said, the Honks stakes were not a
private matter--far from it. The prestige of the British Navy was at
stake, and betting ran high in the gunroom, or abode of "snotties."
Where this young imp of mischief hid, I know not; he swore himself that
his overhearing was purely accidental, and endeavoured to excuse his
lamentable conduct by saying that he learned a lot!
His account of the engagement was breezy and nautical; and as there is,
so far as I know, no other description of the operations extant, I give
it for what it is worth.
Jerry, he told me in the Union Club, Valetta, at a later date, opened
the action with some tentative shots from his lighter armament. For ten
minutes odd he alternately Honked and Maisied, till, as my ribald
informant put it, the deck rang with noises reminiscent of a jibbing
motor-car. She countered ably with rhapsodies over the ship, the band,
and life in general, utterly refusing to be drawn into personalities.
Then, it appeared, Jerry's self-control completely deserted him, and
with a hoarse and throaty noise he opened fire with the full force of
his starboard broadside; he rammed down the loud pedal and let drive.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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