At the desk where I had postponed my appointment the day before I spent two hours waiting and another half hour going through some sort of heart test; then for a circulation test they kept me another hour with one foot and leg thrust into a covered vessel of water, which threw me into a state of nervous apprehension by continually bubbling as if it were boiling. This operation was supervised by a vivacious little nurse who kept track of my pulse; and observing my anxiety, she did her best to engage my attention by relating a tragic chapter of the story of her life. She timed the story so that it ended coincidentally with the circulation test; then she lifted the cover, tested the water with a thermometer, and assured me it was cool; also that the flesh on my leg was still intact. I thanked her and said it was the most enjoyable examination I had had. Following this I hurried through a fifteen minute luncheon, and spent three hours waiting for my doctor. “I observe you are no less a humorist than a physician,” I said, remembering the loss of my breakfast and luncheon the day before. “You gave me a two days’ job to perform before breakfast.” Aside from provoking a flicker of a smile this did not change the gravity of his countenance in the least. He asked me a number of new questions, about everything except the part that troubled me. Whenever I asked about my kidney he always answered by asking me about something else--on the theory, perhaps, that having the kidney safely quarantined, he was interested solely in exploring for new trouble. When he inquired about my stomach I was prepared for him, for I had been forewarned as to the rigors of this examination, which consists of swallowing the nozzle end of a rubber hose and forcing a quantity of dry bread crumbs down alongside it, then with the hose dangling from your mouth you take your place in the line and wait for the food to digest. By means of a pumping device on the outer end of the hose they test the contents of your stomach every half hour or so to see how you are getting along. I emphasized the fact that my digestive organs were in perfect working order and would rival the gizzard of an ostrich. Thus after an eloquent protest I escaped the dreadful stomach test. THE CYSTOSCOPIC TRAP