"An aim?--ay, an aim! If you knew what you said you would know what a
solemn and sacred thing it is that has stood in my path, these seventeen
years, the ending of my travail--an expectation! What think you of
looking forward all that time, as your one aim and expectation--almost,
God help us, as your hope--for a thing which you knew would rend your
very heart, and make your life a desert when it came--what think ye of
that? There are more agonies in this world than men dream of in their
philosophy."
"Are we not friends?" said Anne. "Have we not an equal share in a great
sorrow that is past--I trust and hope in a great joy that is to come?
Will you not take my sympathy?--my assistance?"
Christian Lillie shrank, as Anne thought, from her offered hand.
"An equal share--an equal share. God keep you from that--but it becomes
you well: turn round to the light, and let me see your face."
She laid her hand on Anne's shoulder, and, turning her round, gazed upon
her earnestly.
"Like--and yet unlike," she murmured. "You are the only child of your
mother? she left none but you?"
"Except--"
"Hush, what would you say?" said Christian, hurriedly.--"And you would
offer me sympathy and help? Alas! that I cannot take it at your, hands.
You have opened a fountain in this withered heart, that I thought no
hand in this world could touch but one. It is a good deed--you will get
a blessing for it--now, fare you well."
"Shall I not see you again?" said Anne.
Christian hesitated.
"I do not know--why should you? you can get nothing but blight and
disappointment from me, and yet--for once--you may come to me at
night--not to-morrow night, but the next. I will wait for you at the
little gate; and now go home and take rest--is it not enough that one
should be constantly watching? Fare you well."
Before Anne could answer, the tall, dark, gliding figure was
away--moving along with noiseless footstep over the sands to the gate of
Schole. She proceeded on herself, in wonder and agitation--how shallow
was her concern for Norman in comparison with this; how slight her
prospect of success when this earnest woman, whose words had such a tone
of power in them, even in the deepness of her grief, declared that in
her all hope was dead. It was a blow to all her expectations--nevertheless
it did not strike her in that light. Her anticipation of the promised
interview, her wonder at what had passed in this, obliterated the
discouraging impression. She was too deeply interested in what she
had seen and heard, to think of the stamp of hopelessness which these
despairing words set on her own exertions. That night she transferred
her lights early from her little sitting-room to the bed-chamber
behind. That was a small matter, if it gave any satisfaction to the
melancholy woman, the light from whose high chamber window she could
see reflected on the gleaming water, after Miss Crankie's little
household had been long hours at rest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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