Merry-Garden and Other StoriesQuiller-Couch, Arthur
General
Merry-Garden and Other Stories
Quiller-Couch, Arthur
Cornwall (England : County) -- Fiction; France -- Fiction; Short stories
"No, by George, you haven't," agreed Mr. Jope. "I've heard tar-water
recommended."
"Is it worse tasted than sulphur-water?" asked Nandy, and with that a
wicked thought came into his mind, for he still nursed a spite against all
that he had suffered under Dr. Clatworthy's care. "If you can't get taken
in at Merry-Garden," said he, "why don't you try Hi-jeen Villa, up the
creek?"
"What's that?"
"It's--it's another establishment," said Nandy.
"Respectable? You'll excuse my askin'--"
"Tisn' for me to judge," said Nandy; "but they sit about the garden in
their nightshirts, with a footman carryin' round the drinks."
V.
Well, sir, half an hour later Dr. Clatworthy and his patients were
enjoying their mud-baths in the garden, up at Hi-jeen Villa, and the
doctor had just begun to think about getting his water-douche and dressing
himself to keep his appointment with Miss Sophia and the rest of the young
ladies, when the back-door opened and what should he see entering the
garden but Mr. Jope, with all his bedizened company!
"Hi, you there!" shouted the doctor from his bath. "Get out of this
garden at once! Who are you? and what do you mean by walking into private
premises?"
For a moment Mr. Jope stared about him, wondering where in the world the
voice came from. But when he traced it to the garden-beds, and there, in
the midst of the flowers, spied a dozen human heads all a-blowing and
a-growing with the stocks and carnations, his face turned white and red,
and his eyes grew round, and he turned and stared at Bill Adams, and Bill
Adams stared at Mr. Jope.
"Bill," said Mr. Jope, "is it--is it an earthquake?"
"Tis a Visitation o' some kind," said Bill. "I've heard o' such things in
Ireland."
"Oh, Bill! an' to think that in another minute, if we hadn' arrived--"
Mr. Jope caught hold of his mate's arm and hurried him forward to the
rescue.
"Go away! Get out of this, I tell you!" yelled Clatworthy.
"Not me, sir! Not a British sailor!" hurrahed back Mr. Jope. "Bill! Bill!
Cast your eyes around and see if you can find a bit of rope anywheres in
this blessed garden--and you, behind there, stop the women's screeching!"
--for 'tis a fact that by this time two or three were falling about in the
hysterics--"What! Not a loose end o' rope anywheres? Lord, how these
landsmen do live unprovided! But never you mind, sir!--reach out a hand
to me an' don't struggle--that is, if you're touching bottom.
Strugglin' only makes it worse--"
"You silly fool!" shouted Clatworthy. "We're in no danger, I tell you!
Begone, and take the women away with you. These grounds are private, once
more!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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