Humorous stories, American; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; War stories, American
For a time, life was idly delicious, it was perfect; there was nothing
to mar it. Then came some farmers with an alarm one day. They said it
was rumored that the enemy were advancing in our direction, from over
Hyde’s prairie. The result was a sharp stir among us, and general
consternation. It was a rude awakening from our pleasant trance. The
rumor was but a rumor—nothing definite about it; so, in the confusion,
we did not know which way to retreat. Lyman was for not retreating at
all, in these uncertain circumstances; but he found that if he tried to
maintain that attitude he would fare badly, for the command were in no
humor to put up with insubordination. So he yielded the point and called
a council of war—to consist of himself and the three other officers; but
the privates made such a fuss about being left out, that we had to allow
them to remain, for they were already present, and doing the most of the
talking too. The question was, which way to retreat; but all were so
flurried that nobody seemed to have even a guess to offer. Except Lyman.
He explained in a few calm words, that inasmuch as the enemy were
approaching from over Hyde’s prairie, our course was simple: all we had
to do was not to retreat _toward_ him; any other direction would answer
our needs perfectly. Everybody saw in a moment how true this was, and
how wise; so Lyman got a great many compliments. It was now decided that
we should fall back on Mason’s farm.
It was after dark by this time, and as we could not know how soon the
enemy might arrive, it did not seem best to try to take the horses and
things with us; so we only took the guns and ammunition, and started at
once. The route was very rough and hilly and rocky, and presently the
night grew very black and rain began to fall; so we had a troublesome
time of it, struggling and stumbling along in the dark; and soon some
person slipped and fell, and then the next person behind stumbled over
him and fell, and so did the rest, one after the other; and then Bowers
came with the keg of powder in his arms, whilst the command were all
mixed together, arms and legs, on the muddy slope; and so he fell, of
course, with the keg, and this started the whole detachment down the
hill in a body, and they landed in the brook at the bottom in a pile,
and each that was undermost pulling the hair and scratching and biting
those that were on top of him; and those that were being scratched and
bitten, scratching and biting the rest in their turn, and all saying
they would die before they would ever go to war again if they ever got
out of this brook this time, and the invader might rot for all they
cared, and the country along with him—and all such talk as that, which
was dismal to hear and take part in, in such smothered, low voices, and
such a grisly dark place and so wet, and the enemy may be coming any
moment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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