“You live here alone?” She indicated the wrong direction though taking
in, correctly, the river on whose east bank I did live, a few miles to
the north of Clarissa.
I nodded. “Entirely alone ... in an old house.”
She sighed. “No family?”
“None here. Not much anywhere else. A few in New Orleans, my family’s
original base.” I waited for her to ask if I never got lonely living
in a house on the river, remote from others; but she saw nothing
extraordinary in this.
“It must be fine,” she said slowly. She broke a leaf off a flowering
bush whose branch, heavy with blooming, quivered above our heads as we
sat on the garden bench and watched the dim flash of goldfish in the
muddy waters of the pond.
“I like it,” I said, a little disappointed that there was now no
opportunity for me to construct one of my familiar defenses of a life
alone: I had, in the five years since my days of travel had temporarily
ended, many occasions on which to defend and glorify the solitary life
I had chosen for myself beside this river. I had an ever-changing
repertoire of feints and thrusts: for instance, with the hearty, I
invariably questioned, gently of course, the virtue of a life in
the city, confined to a small apartment with uninhibited babies and
breathing daily large quantities of soot; or then I sometimes enjoyed
assuming the prince of darkness pose, alone with his crimes in an
ancient house, a figure which could, if necessary, be quickly altered
to the more engaging one of remote observer of the ways of men, a stoic
among his books, sustained by the recorded fragments of forgotten
bloody days, evoking solemnly the pure essences of nobler times a
chaste intelligence beyond the combat, a priest celebrating the cool
memory of his race. My theater was extensive and I almost regretted
that with Iris there was no need for even a brief curtain raiser, much
less one of my exuberant galas.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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