Microcosmography: or, a Piece of the World Discovered; in Essays and CharactersEarle, John
General
Microcosmography: or, a Piece of the World Discovered; in Essays and Characters
Earle, John
Character sketches
Is a bird not yet fledged, that hath hopped out of his nest to be chirping
on a hedge, and will be straggling abroad at what peril soever. His
backwardness in the university hath set him thus forward; for had he not
truanted there, he had not been so hasty a divine. His small standing, and
time, hath made him a proficient only in boldness, out of which, and his
table-book, he is furnished for a preacher. His collections of study are
the notes of sermons, which, taken up at St. Mary's,[4] he utters in the
country: and if he write brachigraphy,[5] his stock is so much the
better. His writing is more than his reading, for he reads only what he
gets without book. Thus accomplished he comes down to his friends, and his
first salutation is grace and peace out of the pulpit. His prayer is
conceited, and no man remembers his college more at large.[6] The pace of
his sermon is a full career, and he runs wildly over hill and dale, till
the clock stop him. The labour of it is chiefly in his lungs; and the only
thing he has made[7] _in_ it himself, is the faces. He takes on against
the pope without mercy, and has a jest still in lavender for Bellarmine:
yet he preaches heresy, if it comes in his way, though with a mind, I must
needs say, very orthodox. His action is all passion, and his speech
interjections. He has an excellent faculty in bemoaning the people, and
spits with a very good grace. [His stile is compounded of twenty several
men's, only his body imitates some one extraordinary.] He will not draw
his handkercher out of his place, nor blow his nose without discretion.
His commendation is, that he never looks upon book; and indeed he was
never used to it. He preaches but once a year, though twice on Sunday; for
the stuff is still the same, only the dressing a little altered: he has
more tricks with a sermon, than a taylor with an old cloak, to turn it,
and piece it, and at last quite disguise it with a new preface. If he have
waded farther in his profession, and would shew reading of his own, his
authors are postils, and his school-divinity a catechism. His fashion and
demure habit gets him in with some town-precisian, and makes him a guest
on Friday nights. You shall know him by his narrow velvet cape, and serge
facing; and his ruff, next his hair, the shortest thing about him. The
companion of his walk is some zealous tradesman, whom he astonishes with
strange points, which they both understand alike. His friends and much
painfulness may prefer him to thirty pounds a year, and this means to a
chambermaid; with whom we leave him now in the bonds of wedlock:--next
Sunday you shall have him again.
FOOTNOTES:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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