“Do you know,” said Wyatt, as he watched the Law shaking the water
from itself on the other side of the pond, “I’m not half sure that we
hadn’t better be moving!”
CHAPTER IX
BEFORE THE STORM
Your real, devastating row has many points of resemblance with a
prairie fire. A man on a prairie lights his pipe, and throws away the
match. The flame catches a bunch of dry grass, and, before any one can
realise what is happening, sheets of fire are racing over the country;
and the interested neighbours are following their example. (I have
already compared a row with a thunderstorm; but both comparisons may
stand. In dealing with so vast a matter as a row there must be no
stint.)
The tomato which hit Wyatt in the face was the thrown-away match. But
for the unerring aim of the town marksman great events would never
have happened. A tomato is a trivial thing (though it is possible that
the man whom it hits may not think so), but in the present case, it
was the direct cause of epoch-making trouble.
The tomato hit Wyatt. Wyatt, with others, went to look for the
thrower. The remnants of the thrower’s friends were placed in the
pond, and “with them,” as they say in the courts of law, Police
Constable Alfred Butt.
Following the chain of events, we find Mr. Butt, having prudently
changed his clothes, calling upon the headmaster.
The headmaster was grave and sympathetic; Mr. Butt fierce and
revengeful.
The imagination of the force is proverbial. Nurtured on motor-cars and
fed with stop-watches, it has become world-famous. Mr. Butt gave free
rein to it.
“Threw me in, they did, sir. Yes, sir.”
“Threw you in!”
“Yes, sir. _Plop_!” said Mr. Butt, with a certain sad relish.
“Really, really!” said the headmaster. “Indeed! This is--dear me! I
shall certainly--They threw you in!--Yes, I shall--certainly----”
Encouraged by this appreciative reception of his story, Mr. Butt
started it again, right from the beginning.
“I was on my beat, sir, and I thought I heard a disturbance. I says to
myself, ‘’Allo,’ I says, ‘a frakkus. Lots of them all gathered
together, and fighting.’ I says, beginning to suspect something,
‘Wot’s this all about, I wonder?’ I says. ‘Blow me if I don’t think
it’s a frakkus.’ And,” concluded Mr. Butt, with the air of one
confiding a secret, “and it _was_ a frakkus!”
“And these boys actually threw you into the pond?”
“_Plop_, sir! Mrs. Butt is drying my uniform at home at this very
moment as we sit talking here, sir. She says to me, ‘Why, whatever
_’ave_ you been a-doing? You’re all wet.’ And,” he added, again
with the confidential air, “I _was_ wet, too. Wringin’ wet.”
The headmaster’s frown deepened.
“And you are certain that your assailants were boys from the school?”
“Sure as I am that I’m sitting here, sir. They all ’ad their caps on
their heads, sir.”
“I have never heard of such a thing. I can hardly believe that it is
possible. They actually seized you, and threw you into the water----”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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