'And I am sorry to say that you will be a good deal with her,' Miss
Darrell said, shaking her head gravely; 'for you are to take the second
English class under her--I heard them say so at dinner to-day--and I am
afraid she will fidget you almost out of your life; but you must try to
keep your temper, and take things as quietly as you can, and I daresay
in time you will be able to get on with her.'
'I'm sure I hope so,' I answered rather sadly; and then Miss Darrell
asked me how long I was to be at Albury Lodge.
'Three years,' I told her; 'and after that, Miss Bagshot is to place me
somewhere as a governess.'
'You are going to be a governess always?'
'I suppose so,' I answered. The word 'always' struck me with a little
sharp pain, almost like a wound. Yes, I supposed it would be always. I
was neither pretty nor attractive. What issue could there be for me out
of that dull hackneyed round of daily duties which makes up the sum of
a governess's life?
'I am obliged to do something for my living,' I said; 'my father is
very poor. I hope I may be able to help him a little by and by.'
'And my father is so ridiculously rich. He is a great ironmaster, and
has wharves and warehouses, and goodness knows what, at North Shields.
How hard it seems!'
'What seems hard?' I asked absently.
'That money should be so unequally divided. Do you know, I don't think
I should much mind going out as a governess: it would be a way of
seeing life. One must meet with all sorts of adventures, going among
strangers like that.'
I looked at her as she smiled at me, with a smile that gave an
indescribable brightness to her face, and I fancied that for her indeed
there could be no form of life so dull that would not hold some
triumph, some success. She seemed a creature born to extract brightness
out of the commonest things, a creature to be only admired and
caressed, go where she might.
'You a governess!' I said, a little scornfully; 'you are not of the
clay that makes governesses.'
'Why not?'
'You are much too pretty and too fascinating.'
'O, Mary Crofton, Mary Crofton--may I call you Mary, please? we are
going to be such friends--if you begin by flattering me like that, how
am I ever to trust you and lean upon you? I want some one with a
stronger mind than my own, you know, dear, to lead me right; for I'm
the weakest, vainest creature in the world, I believe. Papa has spoiled
me so.'
'If you are always like what you are to-night, I don't think the
spoiling has done much mischief,' I said.
'O, I am always amiable enough, so long as I have my own way. And now
tell me all about your home.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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