Minerva's Manoeuvres: The Cheerful Facts of a "Return to Nature"Loomis, Charles Battell
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Minerva's Manoeuvres: The Cheerful Facts of a "Return to Nature"
Loomis, Charles Battell
Country life -- Fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Married people -- Fiction; New England -- Fiction
All the events connected with that summer resolved themselves in
the retrospect into something agreeable. The visits in turn of
the burglar, the sheriff, and the “game warden” furnished us
food for pleasant talk, and our early and frantic attempts to
keep Minerva satisfied did not seem as tragic when looked at
from the latter end of July as they did in the happening.
It was a few days after our loss of the delicious trout lunch
that we received an unexpected call from a neighbour.
It was an unusually hot night for Clover Lodge. Ordinarily a
blanket was not too much, no matter how warm the day, and there
were nights in July when two blankets were necessary, but this
night was breathless, and so hot that a sheet would have felt
like hot metal.
We had retired to rest, but found that rest was impossible. It
was a night in which to deplore good circulation and wish for
cold feet.
It may have been twelve o’clock; it may have been much later—we
had no striking clock in the house—when we heard uncertain steps
on the graveled walk. They came nearer and nearer, and at last a
foot slid along the floor of the porch, followed by a reluctant
mate, a heavy hand fell against the door and an over-mellow
voice called out,
“You ’wake, papa?”
I was only too wide awake, but I had no children, so I did not
think it necessary to answer his question.
A muttering arose and then a louder query as to whether “papa”
was awake.
“Who can it be?” said Ethel.
“Some one who believes in local option. I wish he’d go away.”
“Papa. Papa. It’s on’y me. I wan’ a borrer mash.”
“What does he want?” said Ethel.
“He wants a match.”
“Oh, tell him to go away. He’ll set the house afire.”
“How can he set the house afire if he hasn’t a match? It rests
with me whether he sets anything afire.”
I called out in as stentorian a tone as my lungs would allow me
to muster, “Go away. Go home.”
My voice was encouragement to the tired wayfarer.
“Oh, papa. Was ’frai’ you was ’sleep. Papa, ’blizh me wi’ a
mash. Mine wen’ out, wan’a ligh’ a pipe.”
I got out of bed. The moon had about ended its lighting services
for the night, but I could see the form of a man sitting on the
porch seat, his head swaying from side to side and as I looked
he again lifted up his voice and said,
“Papa, don’ you hear me? Be neighbourly, papa.”
“I don’t find any matches,” said, I with a fine Puritanical
regard for the letter of the truth. I found none because I did
not look for them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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