As he still stood looking to the north through the window across that
afternoon autumn air, with the majesty of the high trees framing his
landscape, he heard a step he thought he knew. His attitude changed.
He started round. It died away again. She was long in coming!
He felt the chill of his place, and, sensitive to every slight
impression of the body, long steeped in immediate enjoyment of
every detail of luxury, he moved at once instinctively back to that
chair before the fire and sat him down again; but this time leaning
backwards, his arms on the arms of the gilded thing that supported
him, and a deeper reverie in his eyes.
The chestnut logs had caught; they made a murmuring which effaced
time and were a sort of lullaby. For some few moments he did not know
that he was waiting for a step and a voice, though they were those
of a friend. For some few moments he did but dream, and there passed
before his mind certain odd convictions which inhabited it, and
certain common terrors; both of these stood against a background of
disappointment and of nothingness.... None of his line could be lost
... none of his line could be lost.... St. Louis had baptized them
all into a sort of security.... If only the poor were not oppressed,
if only he were always master of the rich, and a true king, his soul
would be at last secure.... Nor was he too much to blame. These
awful and remote dignities of kingship must be counterweighted by
something human; it was a crying need; and affection, though passing,
was still affection.... There was no gallery of faces in his mind ...
he had been good to all these women, and would be good to all to come.
But there had now come upon him friendship. Though the particular
love had passed and all its habits, friendship remained; and
friendship, even to a man so jaded, was a profound thing.
Even as he thus mused he heard the step which was unmistakable, and
a particular voice greeting his gentlemen without salutations in the
vestibule. That charming voice answered their respect without any
insolence and yet with a certain frankness which was properly bred of
a great, a thoroughly exalted place now long enjoyed. Then the tall
white-and-gilt door was opened--one leaf of it--by a hand delicate
and poised, shut at once, and he took her hands.
Now at last he was at home, and for some few minutes the intolerable
tedium, the inexorable weight of what life had come to be for him,
would be lifted; the voice was enough for that, and the gestures,
and the more than kindness of the face; the sympathy in everything
of the senses, and common memories apparently unregretted, and
permitting her apparently (he did not deceive himself, he believed
it, though to her it was bitter enough), a powerful abandonment of
the past.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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