There are merry-makings in the kitchen to-night, as befits the season,
and my Lady's maid has been enjoined not to hurry herself. Her
mistress is beginning to unrobe, without her assistance, but very
leisurely. She unclasps one warm and sparkling jewel from her arm, and
gazes thoughtfully, but far from sadly, upon the picture that is hid
within it. It is the miniature of a handsome man past middle age,
attired in a blue coat and gold buttons; what persons of my Lady's age
would call a decidedly old-fashioned portrait; but it is the likeness
of Sir Robert as her bridegroom. “What a good, kind husband he was,”
thinks she. “How he loved me, and loaded me with favours; how much
he overlooked, how much he forgot--of which others know nothing--for
my sake. How terrible would it be to feel that one had not done one's
poor duty in return for so much love. Thank Heaven, I feel free from
any such charge. If I had not love--that is, first love--to give him
in exchange, I gave him all I had. I gave him genuine affection,
esteem--worship. Everybody knows that; and what is better, my own heart
knows it. It never beat with truer fealty towards him than it beats
to-night. God knows. I live for his children only. What a fine noble boy
is Richard grown; surely, to look upon him, and to say to one's self:
'This is my son,' should be happiness enough for any mother. True,
he is proud; but has he not something to be proud of? He, Sir Richard,
and one of those Lisgards who have ruled at Mirk for twelve generations.
(Here a quiet smile stole over my Lady's features.) They said with
reason at those _tableaux_ at the Vanes, that with that helmet on he was
the image of young Sir Maurice, who died at Edgehill with the colours
twisted round him. I wonder if it was his poor mother who had her dead
boy painted so. 'Tis certain that she thought: 'Ah, were he but
alive, there would be no such thing as sorrow more for me.' Yet here
I have him. Ah (here she grew as pale as death), why did _I_ ever let my
Walter be a soldier? What weakness to give way--to the very peril of him
for whom I was so weak! He would have gone to the wars themselves
but for good Dr Haldane, through whom (thanks to the Duke) he was not
gazetted to the corps he had applied for. Why did he not choose the bar,
like his elder brother? How he would have moved men's hearts to mercy
with that winning tongue! Or why did he not become God's messenger--I
am sure he has an angel's face--and carry the news those bells are
telling of to shipwrecked souls? Oftentimes, when, as a child, he knelt
beside me to say his prayers, his very looks have seemed to make the
action more sacred. Goodness seemed better worth when he was praying for
it, and heaven no home for saints unless he shared it! God grant he may
grow up a good man!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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