CALLIDEMUS. Nicias, poor honest man, might just as well have sate still; his speaking did but little good. The loss of your oration is, doubtless, an irreparable public calamity. SPEUSIPPUS. Why, not so; I intend to introduce it at the next assembly; it will suit any subject. CALLIDEMUS. That is to say, it will suit none. But pray, if it be not too presumptuous a request, indulge me with a specimen. SPEUSIPPUS. Well; suppose the agora crowded;--an important subject under discussion;--an ambassador from Argos, or from the great king;--the tributes from the islands;--an impeachment;--in short, anything you please. The crier makes proclamation.--"Any citizen above fifty years old may speak--any citizen not disqualified may speak." Then I rise:--a great murmur of curiosity while I am mounting the stand. CALLIDEMUS. Of curiosity! yes, and of something else too. You will infallibly be dragged down by main force, like poor Glaucon (See Xenophon Memorabilia, iii.) last year. SPEUSIPPUS. Never fear. I shall begin in this style: "When I consider, Athenians, the importance of our city;--when I consider the extent of its power, the wisdom of its laws, the elegance of its decorations;--when I consider by what names and by what exploits its annals are adorned; when I think on Harmodius and Aristogiton, on Themistocles and Miltiades, on Cimon and Pericles;--when I contemplate our pre-eminence in arts and letters;--when I observe so many flourishing states and islands compelled to own the dominion, and purchase the protection of the City of the Violet Crown" (A favourite epithet of Athens. See Aristophanes; Acharn. 637.)-- CALLIDEMUS. I shall choke with rage. Oh, all ye gods and goddesses, what sacrilege, what perjury have I ever committed, that I should be singled out from among all the citizens of Athens to be the father of this fool? SPEUSIPPUS. What now? By Bacchus, old man, I would not advise you to give way to such fits of passion in the streets. If Aristophanes were to see you, you would infallibly be in a comedy next spring. CALLIDEMUS. You have more reason to fear Aristophanes than any fool living. Oh, that he could but hear you trying to imitate the slang of Straton (See Aristophanes; Equites, 1375.) and the lisp of Alcibiades! (See Aristophanes; Vespae, 44.) You would be an inexhaustible subject. You would console him for the loss of Cleon. SPEUSIPPUS. No, no. I may perhaps figure at the dramatic representations before long; but in a very different way. CALLIDEMUS. What do you mean? SPEUSIPPUS. What say you to a tragedy? CALLIDEMUS. A tragedy of yours? SPEUSIPPUS. Even so. CALLIDEMUS. Oh Hercules! Oh Bacchus! This is too much. Here is an universal genius; sophist,--orator,--poet. To what a three-headed monster have I given birth! a perfect Cerberus of intellect! And pray what may your piece be about? Or will your tragedy, like your speech, serve equally for any subject?