Miss Ayr of Virginia, & other storiesMagruder, Julia
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Miss Ayr of Virginia, & other stories
Magruder, Julia
Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
For he, poor fellow, had been praying a prayer, too--the one
consistent, fervid, passionately persevered in prayer of his life.
Night, and morning, and at noonday, whether on his knees or walking in
the fields or wandering along the river banks, or oftener still, when
he held his precious violin beneath his chin, that prayer arose with
suddenly uplifted eyes to the great God whose power was infinite, and
who could, if He would, give him his heart’s desire--a child with the
musical gift. He longed, too, that this child might have a nature and
heart to comprehend and sympathize with his, though his wish he did not
put into words. He felt absolutely sure that the greater would contain
the less, and that if the music were there the sympathy could not
lack. He knew his wife was right in holding that the musical faculty,
alone, was a blessing to no one, and his hope was that this child might
inherit from its mother the decision, industry and capableness that
would complement the gift of music, which was the one thing of himself
that he felt he could wish any child of his to possess. He was acutely
aware that his life was a failure--that he had lacked the capacity to
put his musical power to any use. He had worked hard over it for years,
and although people had praised and admired his music, no advancement
or recognition amounting to anything had come of it. He knew that it
was his own fault--he claimed no sympathy for himself and no merit. He
wished that the child might have all the traits that he lacked, but
he passionately wished, also, that it might have one thing that he
possessed--this spirit of music, that was to him alternately a devil of
despair and an angel of consolation. Surely, surely, if another being
should possess an inward prompting such as his, something would come of
it! Surely, no other creature who possessed it could be so handicapped
by the impotent body and incapable mind, which he knew to be its
accompaniment in him!
Dreams of that child were the theme of all his aspirations and
imaginations, and when, in the midst of some uplifting strain of
music, he realized that it was absolutely a possibility--a thing that
might simply and naturally come about, he would sometimes utter his
soul in such sounds of harmony, that again would come the old haunting
thought of composing some grand oratorio or opera, and he would begin
desperately to try to get down on paper the music in his soul.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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