Miss Beecher's Housekeeper and Healthkeeper: Containing Five Hundred Receipes for Economical and Healthful Cooking; also, Many Directions for Securing Health and HappinessBeecher, Catharine Esther
General
Miss Beecher's Housekeeper and Healthkeeper: Containing Five Hundred Receipes for Economical and Healthful Cooking; also, Many Directions for Securing Health and Happiness
Beecher, Catharine Esther
Cooking; Home economics
Here it is needful to notice that the distinctive duty of obedience to
man does not rest on women who do not enter the relations of married
life. A woman who inherits property, or who earns her own livelihood,
can institute the family state, adopt orphan children, and employ
suitable helpers in training them; and then to her will appertain the
authority and rights that belong to man as the head of a family. And
when every woman is trained to some self-supporting business, she will
not be tempted to enter the family state as a subordinate, except by
that love for which there is no need of law.
These general principles being stated, some details in regard to
domestic manners will be enumerated.
In the first place, there should be required in the family a strict
attention to the rules of precedence, and those modes of address
appropriate to the various relations to be sustained. Children should
always be required to offer their superiors in age or station the
precedence in all comforts and conveniences, and always address them
in a respectful tone and manner. The custom of adding, “Sir,” or
“Ma’am,” to “Yes,” or “No,” is valuable, as a perpetual indication
of a respectful recognition of superiority. It is now going out of
fashion, even among the most well-bred people; probably from a want of
consideration of its importance. Every remnant of courtesy of address
in our customs should be carefully cherished by all who feel a value
for the proprieties of good-breeding.
If parents allow their children to talk to them, and to the grown
persons in the family, in the same style in which they address each
other, it will be in vain to hope for the courtesy of manner and tone
which good-breeding demands in the general intercourse of society. In
a large family, where the elder children are grown up and the younger
are small, it is important to require the latter to treat the elder in
some sense as superiors. There are none so ready as young children to
assume airs of equality; and if they are allowed to treat one class of
superiors in age and character disrespectfully, they will soon use the
privilege universally. This is the reason why the youngest children of
a family are most apt to be pert, forward, and unmannerly.
Another point to be aimed at is, to require children always to
acknowledge every act of kindness and attention, either by words
or manner. If they are so trained as always to make grateful
acknowledgments when receiving favors, one of the objectionable
features in American manners will be avoided.
Again, children should be required to ask leave, whenever they wish
to gratify curiosity, or use an article which belongs to another.
And if cases occur when they can not comply with the rules of
good-breeding—as, for instance, when they must step between a person
and the fire, or take the chair of an older person—they should be
taught either to ask leave or to offer an apology.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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