'I hope it will please you,' she said, with a shyness that was still
bright and friendly. 'You will be sure to come and see me afterwards? I
have been arranging it with Mrs. Stuart. I am never fit to talk to
afterwards, I get so tired. But it does one good to see one's friends; it
makes one forget the theatre a little before going home.'
'Do you find London very exciting?'
'Yes, very. People have been so extraordinarily kind to me, and it is all
such a new experience after that little place Kingston. I should have my
head turned, I think,' she added, with a happy little laugh, 'but that
when one cares about one's art one is not likely to think too much of
one's self. I am always despairing over what there is still to do, and
what one may have done seems to make no matter.'
She spoke with a pretty humility, evidently meaning what she said, and
yet there was such a delightful young triumph in her manner, such an
invulnerable consciousness of artistic success, that Kendal felt a secret
stir of amusement as he recalled the criticisms which among his own set
he had most commonly heard applied to her.
'Yes, indeed,' he answered pleasantly. 'I suppose every artist feels the
same. We all do if we are good for anything--we who scribble as well as
you who act.'
'Oh yes,' she said, with kindly, questioning eyes, 'you write a great
deal? I know; Mr. Wallace told me. He says you are so learned, and that
your book will be splendid. It must be grand to write books. I should
like it, I think, better than acting. You need only depend on yourself;
but in acting you're always depending on some one else, and you get in
such a rage when all your own grand ideas are spoilt because the leading
gentleman won't do anything different from what he has been used to, or
the next lady wants to show off, or the stage manager has a grudge
against you! Something always happens.'
'Apparently the only thing that always happens to you is success,' said
Kendal, rather hating himself for the cheapness of the compliment. 'I
hear wonderful reports of the difficulty of getting a seat at the
_Calliope_; and his friends tell me that Mr. Robinson looks ten years
younger. Poor man! it is time that fortune smiled on him.'
'Yes, indeed; he had a bad time last year. That Miss Harwood, the
American actress, that they thought would be such a success, didn't come
off at all. She didn't hit the public. It doesn't seem to me that the
English public is hard to please. At that wretched little theatre in
Kingston I wasn't nearly so much at my ease as I am here. Here one can
always do one's best and be sure that the audience will appreciate it. I
have all sorts of projects in my head. Next year I shall have a theatre
of my own, I think, and then--'
'And then we shall see you in all the great parts?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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