'No, no!' she exclaimed, with sudden bitterness and a change of voice
which startled him; 'it is not that. It is that I am I, and Madame
Desforêts is Madame Desforêts. Oh, I see! I see very well that your mind
is against it. And Mr. Wallace--there were two or three things in his
manner which have puzzled me. He has never said yes to my proposal
formally. I understand perfectly what it means; you think that I shall do
the play an injury by acting it; that it is too good for me!'
Kendal felt as if a thunderbolt had fallen; the sombre passion of her
manner affected him indescribably.
'Miss Bretherton!' he cried.
'Yes, yes!' she said, almost fiercely, stopping in the path. 'It's that,
I know. I have felt it almost since your first word. What power have I,
if not tragic power? If a part like Elvira does not suit me, what does
suit me? Of course, that is what you mean. If I cannot act Elvira, I am
good for nothing--I am worse than good for nothing--I am an impostor, a
sham!'
She sat down on the raised edge of the bank, for she was trembling, and
clasped her quivering hands on her knees. Kendal was beside himself with
distress. How had he blundered so, and what had brought this about? It
was so unexpected, it was incredible.
'Do--do believe me!' he exclaimed, bending over her. 'I never meant
anything the least disrespectful to you; I never dreamt of it. You asked
me to give you my true opinion, and my criticism applied much more to the
play than to yourself. Think nothing of it, if you yourself are
persuaded. You must know much better than I can what will suit you. And
as for Wallace--Wallace will be proud to let you do what you will with
his play.'
It seemed to him that he would have said anything in the world to soothe
her. It was so piteous, so intolerable to him to watch that quivering
lip.
'Ah, yes,' she said, looking up, a dreary smile flitting over her face,
'I know you didn't mean to wound me; but it was there, your feeling; I
saw it at once. I might have seen it, if I hadn't been a fool, in Mr.
Wallace's manner. I did see it. It's only what every one whose opinion is
worth having is beginning to say. My acting has been a nightmare to me
lately. I believe it has all been a great, great mistake.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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