American fiction -- 19th century; Love stories; Romance fiction, American
to him, and the sound of her voice a balm. He grew fonder of her every
day, in his way. Her kindly, little girlish homilies touched and warmed
him. As Lisbeth had made him worse, so Georgie Esmond made him better.
But the danger! The danger was not for himself, it was for Georgie.
The day was slowly dawning when the girl’s innocent friendship and
admiration for him would become something else. When she began to pity
him, she began to tread on unsafe ground. She had lived through no
miserable experience; she had felt no desolating passion; her heart was
all untried, and his evident affection stirred it softly, even before
she understood her own feelings. She thought her budding love was pity,
and her tenderness sympathy. He had gone wrong, poor fellow, somehow,
and she was sorry for him.
“I am sure he does not mean the hard things he sometimes says,” she
said to Lisbeth. “I think that satirical way of speaking is more a bad
habit than anything else. Mamma thinks so, too, but,” with a little
guileless blush, “we are both so fond of him, that we cannot help being
sorry that he has fallen into it.”
“It is a sort of fashion in these days,” returned Lisbeth, and she
longed to add a scorching little sneer to the brief comment, but she
restrained it for Georgie’s sake.
Positively such a thing had become possible. She, who had never
restrained her impulses before, had gradually learned to control them
for this simple girl’s sake. On the one or two occasions, early in
their acquaintance, when she had let her evil spirit get the better
of her, the sudden pain and wonder in Georgie’s face had stung her so
quickly, that she had resolved to hide her iniquities, at least in her
presence. Sometimes she had even wished that she had been softer at
heart and less selfish. It was so unpleasant to see herself just as she
was, when she breathed that sweet atmosphere of which I have spoken.
Georgie Esmond caused her to lose patience with Lisbeth Crespigny, upon
more than one occasion.
“I am a hypocrite,” she said to herself. “If she knew me as I am,
what would she think of me? What would Mrs. Esmond say if she knew
how cavalierly her ‘dear Lisbeth’ had treated those three loving old
souls at Pen’yllan? I am gaining everything on false pretenses.” And
one night, as she sat combing her hair before her mirror, she added,
fiercely, “I am false and selfish all through; and I believe they are
teaching me to be ashamed of myself.”
The fact was, these two sweet women, this sweet mother and daughter,
were teaching her to be ashamed of herself. She quite writhed under her
conviction, for she felt herself convicted. Her self-love was wounded,
but the day came when that perfect, obstinate self-confidence, which
was her chief characteristic, was not a little shaken.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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