“Let me be a little sunbeam for Jesus--” and she seemed, then, to feel a
subtle sort of glow, as from an actual sunbeam, warming her whole being.
But the marvellous new feeling did not definitely begin till after
Sunday-school was over, when she was helping Miss Simpson collect the
song-books. Not the big, thick hymn-books used for the church service,
but smaller ones, with pasteboard backs and different tunes. Melissa
would have preferred the Sunday-school to use the big, cloth-covered
hymnals. Somehow they looked more religious; just as their tunes, with
slow, long-drawn cadences, somehow sounded more religious than the
Sunday-school's cheerful tunes. Why this should be so Melissa didn't
know; there were many things she didn't yet understand about religion.
But she asked no questions; experience had taught her that the most
serious questions may be strangely turned into food for laughter by
grown-ups.
It was when she carried the song-books into the choir-room to stack them
on some chairs, that she noticed the choir had come in and was beginning
to practise a real hymn. She loitered. It was an especially religious
hymn, very slow and mournful. They sang:
“A-a--sle-e-e-ep in Je-e-e--sus--Ble-e-es--ed sle-e-e-ep--From which
none e-e-ev--er Wake to we-e-e-ep--”
The choir did not observe Melissa; did not suspect that state of
deliciousness which, starting from the skin, slowly crept into her very
soul. She stood there, very unobtrusive, drinking in the sadly sweet
sounds. Up on the stained-glass window the sunlight filtered through
blue-and-red-and-golden angels, sending shafts of heavenly colour across
the floor; and the fibres of her soul, enmeshed in music, seemed to
stretch out to mingle with that heavenly colour. It was hard to separate
herself from that sound and colour which was not herself. Tears came to
her eyes; she couldn't tell why, for she wasn't sad. Oh, if she could
stand there listening forever!--could feel like this forever!
The choir was practising for a funeral that afternoon, but Melissa
didn't know that. She had never attended a funeral. She didn't even know
it was a funeral song. She only knew that when, at last, they stopped
singing and filed out of the choir-room, she could hardly bear to have
them go. She wished she might follow them, might tuck herself away in
the auditorium somewhere and stay for the church service. But her mother
didn't allow her to do that. Mother insisted that church service and
Sunday-school, combined, were too much for a little girl, and would give
her headaches.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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