Was the Lord God compelled to take a part of the man because he had used up all the original "nothing" out of which the universe was made? Is it possible for any sane and intelligent man to believe this story? Must a man be born a second time before this account seems reasonable? Imagine the Lord God with a bone in his hand with which to start a woman, trying to make up his mind whether to make a blonde or a brunette! Just at this point it may be proper for me to warn all persons from laughing at or making light of, any stories found in the "Holy Bible." When you come to die, every laugh will be a thorn in your pillow. At that solemn moment, as you look back upon the records of your life, no matter how many men you may have wrecked and ruined; no matter how many women you have deceived and deserted, all that can be forgiven; but if you remember then that you have laughed at even one story in God's "sacred book" you will see through the gathering shadows of death the forked tongues of devils, and the leering eyes of fiends. These stories must be believed, or the work of regeneration can never be commenced. No matter how well you act your part, live as honestly as you may, clothe the naked, feed the hungry, divide your last farthing with the poor, and you are simply traveling the broad road that leads inevitably to eternal death, unless at the same time you implicitly believe the bible to be the inspired word of God. Let me show you the result of unbelief. Let us suppose, for a moment, that we are at the Day of Judgment, listening to the trial of souls as they arrive. The Recording Secretary, or whoever does the cross-examining, says to a soul: Where are you from? I am from the Earth. What kind of a man were you? Well, I don't like to talk about myself. I suppose you can tell by looking at your books. No sir. You must tell what kind of a man you were. Well, I was what you might call a first-rate fellow. I loved my wife and children. My home was my heaven. My fireside was a paradise to me. To sit there and see the lights and shadows fall upon the faces of those I loved, was to me a perfect joy. How did you treat your family? I never said an unkind word. I never caused my wife, nor one of my children, a moment's pain. Did you pay your debts? I did not owe a dollar when I died, and left enough to pay my funeral expenses, and to keep the fierce wolf of want from the door of those I loved. Did you belong to any church? No sir. They were too narrow, pinched and bigoted for me, I never thought that I could be very happy if other folks were damned. Did you believe in eternal punishment? Well, no. I always thought that God could get his revenge in far less time. Did you believe the rib story? Do you mean the Adam and Eve business? Yes! Did you believe that? To tell you the God's truth, that was just a little more than I could swallow. Away with him to hell! Next! Where are you from? I am from the world too.