Modern Eloquence: Vol III, After-Dinner Speeches P-Z
History
Modern Eloquence: Vol III, After-Dinner Speeches P-Z
Speeches, addresses, etc.
My friends, I have had many, many experiences, and it always seems to me
easier to recur to some of them when I am on my feet, for they come back
to me like the memory of a dream, pleasant to think of. And now,
to-night, I know the Civil War is uppermost in your minds, although I
would banish it as a thing of trade, something too common to my calling;
yet I know it pleases the audience to refer to little incidents here and
there of the great Civil War, in which I took a humble part. [Applause.]
I remember, one day away down in Georgia, somewhere between, I think,
Milledgeville and Millen, I was riding on a good horse and had some
friends along with me to keep good-fellowship. [Laughter.] A pretty
numerous party, all clever good fellows. [Renewed laughter.] Riding
along, I spied a plantation. I was thirsty, rode up to the gate and
dismounted. One of these men with sabres by their side, called
orderlies, stood by my horse. I walked up on the porch, where there was
an old gentleman, probably sixty years of age, white-haired and very
gentle in his manners--evidently a planter of the higher class. I asked
him if he would be kind enough to give me some water. He called a boy,
and soon he had a bucket of water with a dipper. I then asked for a
chair, and called one or two of my officers. Among them was, I think,
Dr. John Moore, who recently has been made Surgeon-General of the Army,
for which I am very glad--indebted to Mr. Cleveland. [Laughter and
applause.] We sat on the porch, and the old man held the bucket, and I
took a long drink of water, and maybe lighted a cigar [laughter], and it
is possible I may have had a little flask of whiskey along. [Renewed
laughter.]
At all events, I got into a conversation; and the troops drifted along,
passing down the roadway closely by fours, and every regiment had its
banner, regimental or national, sometimes furled and sometimes afloat.
The old gentleman says:--
"General, what troops are these passing now?"
As the color-bearer came by, I said: "Throw out your colors. That is the
39th Iowa."
"The 39th Iowa! 39th Iowa! Iowa! 39th! What do you mean by 39th?"
"Well," said I, "habitually, a regiment, when organized, amounts to
1,000 men."
"Do you pretend to say Iowa has sent 39,000 men into this cruel Civil
War?" [Laughter.]
"Why, my friend, I think that may be inferred."
"Well," says he, "where's Iowa?" [Laughter.]
"Iowa is a State bounded on the east by the Mississippi, on the south by
Missouri, on the west by unknown country, and on the north by the North
Pole."
"Well," says he, "39,000 men from Iowa! You must have a million men."
Says I: "I think about that."
Presently another regiment came along.
"What may that be?"
I called to the color-bearer: "Throw out your colors and let us see,"
and it was the 21st or 22d Wisconsin--I have forgotten which.
"Wisconsin! Northwest Territory! Wisconsin! Is it spelled with an O or a
W?"
"Why, we spell it now with a W. It used to be spelled Ouis."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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