Modern Eloquence: Vol III, After-Dinner Speeches P-Z
History
Modern Eloquence: Vol III, After-Dinner Speeches P-Z
Speeches, addresses, etc.
But, my friends, such of the Pilgrim Fathers as found good women to
"comfort" them had, I am sure, their full share of matrimonial thorns in
the flesh. For instance, I know of an early New England epitaph on a
tombstone, in these words: "Obadiah and Sarah Wilkenson--their warfare
is accomplished." [Uproarious laughter.] And among the early statutes of
Connecticut--a State that began with blue laws, and ends with black
[laughter]--there was one which said: "No Gospel minister shall unite
people in marriage; the civil magistrates shall unite people in
marriage; as they may do it with less scandal to the church." [Loud
laughter.] Now, gentlemen, since Yankee clergymen fared so hard for
wedding-fees in those days, is it to be wondered at that so many Yankee
clergymen have escaped out of New England, and are here to-night?
[Laughter.] Dropping their frailties in the graves which cover their
ashes, I hold up anew to your love and respect the Forefathers of New
England! And as the sons of the Pilgrims are worthy of their sires, so
the daughters of the Pilgrims are worthy of their mothers. I hold that
in true womanly worth, in housewifely thrift, in domestic skill, in
every lovable and endearing quality, the present race of Yankee women
are the women of the earth! [Applause.] And I trust that we shall yet
have a Republic which, instead of disfranchising one-half its citizens,
and that too by common consent its "better half," shall ordain the
political equality, not only of both colors, but of both sexes! I
believe in a reconstructed Union wherein every good woman shall have a
wedding-ring on her finger, and a ballot in her hand! [Sensation.]
And now, to close, let me give you just a bit of good advice. The
cottages of our forefathers had few pictures on the walls, but many
families had a print of "King Charles's Twelve Good Rules," the eleventh
of which was, "Make no long meals." Now King Charles lost his head, and
you will have leave to make a long meal. But when, after your long meal,
you go home in the wee small hours, what do you expect to find? You will
find my toast--"Woman, a beautiful rod!" [Laughter.] Now my advice is,
"Kiss the rod!" [Great laughter, during which Mr. Tilton took his
seat.]
JOSEPH HOPKINS TWICHELL
YANKEE NOTIONS
[Speech of Rev. Joseph H. Twichell, of Hartford, Conn., at the
eighty-second annual dinner of the New England Society in the City
of New York, December 22, 1887. The President, Horace Russell,
occupied the chair. Mr. Twichell responded to the first toast,
"Forefathers' Day."]
MR. PRESIDENT AND GENTLEMEN:--I have heard of an Irishman who,
on being asked by a kind-hearted person if he would have a drink of
whiskey, made no reply at first, but struck an attitude and stood gazing
up into the sky. "What are you looking at, Mike?" inquired his friend.
"Bedad, sir," said Mike, "I thought an angel spoke to me." [Much
laughter.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account