Modern marriage and how to bear itBraby, Maud Churton
Science
Modern marriage and how to bear it
Braby, Maud Churton
Marriage
This passionate love of home is one of the most marked feminine
characteristics; I don’t mean love of being _at_ home, as modern women’s
tastes frequently lie elsewhere, but love of the place itself and the
desire to possess it. A great number of women marry solely to obtain
this coveted possession. As for those who don’t, the advertisement
columns of the _Church Times_, the _Christian World_, and other papers
tell a pitiful story of their need. Ladies ‘by birth’ (pathetic and
foolish little phrase!) are willing to do almost anything in return for
just a modest corner, a very subordinate place even in someone else’s
home. They will be housekeepers, servants, companions, secretaries,
helps for ‘a small salary and a home,’ and sometimes for no salary at
all. They will pack, sew, mend, teach, supervise; they offer their
knowledge of every kind, such as it is, their music, their languages,
their health and strength, their subservience and all their virtues,
real or acquired--all in return for a little food and fire, and the
sheltering of four walls, which constitute their extreme need, their
utmost desire--a home! Beautiful women, gifted and good women, sell
themselves daily just to gain a home. Even Hedda Gabler, most degenerate
of modern heroines, who shot herself rather than be a mother, sold
herself in a loveless marriage only for a home. And yet constantly we
read a list of trivial and fantastic reasons why women don’t marry!
A girl-bachelor who was compelled to spend most of her time in that
uncomfortable place technically known as ‘one’s boxes,’ once told me
that her greatest desire was a spot just big enough for a wardrobe in
which to keep her spare clothes and little possessions. She did without
a home, but she longed intensely for that wardrobe. ‘I shall have to
marry Tony soon,’ she said, ‘just for the convenience of having room for
my clothes. I don’t like him, and I want to wait till someone I do like
comes, but if ever I take him, it will be for wardrobe room, you just
see.’ I must add that ‘someone’ _did_ come, and she now possesses
several wardrobes and three bouncing babies, and Tony cuts her when he
meets her in the Park!
This home passion is even more noticeable in that class of society
usually referred to as the lower. I have occasionally employed a poor
woman who has been in service as cook since her husband died nineteen
years ago. All that time, she has ‘kept on the home,’ _i.e._ a single
room which contains her furniture. She has scarcely ever had to use the
room, except for an odd day or two, and has had to spend much of her
scanty leisure in cleaning it. For nineteen years she has paid
three-and-six a week for the room sooner than sell her furniture. The
£172 thus expended would have paid for the furniture over and over
again. The woman quite realises the absurdity of it, but ‘I simply
couldn’t part with the ’ome,’ is her explanation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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