Modern marriage and how to bear itBraby, Maud Churton
Science
Modern marriage and how to bear it
Braby, Maud Churton
Marriage
Of all the revolutionary suggestions for improving the present marriage
system, the most sensible and feasible seems to me marriage ‘on
approval’--in other words, a ‘preliminary canter.’ The procedure would
be somewhat as follows: a couple on deciding to marry would go through a
legal form of contract, agreeing to take each other as husband and wife
for a limited term of years--say three. This period would allow two
years for a fair trial, after the abnormal and exceptionally trying
first year was over. Any shorter time would be insufficient. At the
conclusion of the three years, the contracting parties would have the
option of dissolving the marriage--the dissolution not to become
absolute for another six months, so as to allow every opportunity of
testing the genuineness of the desire to part. If no dissolution were
desired, the marriage would then be ratified by a religious or final
legal ceremony, and become permanently binding.
In the case of a marriage dissolved, each party would be free to wed
again; but the second essay must be final and permanent from the start.
This restriction would be absolutely necessary if the preliminary canter
plan is not to degenerate into a species of legalised free love, as
there are many men, and some women, who would ‘always go on cantering,’
as Amoret expressed it once--and the upshot would be nothing less than
leasehold marriage for the short term of three years.
It might be urged against this plan that many couples who come to grief
in the danger zone of married life--_i.e._ nearing the tenth year--are
perfectly happy in the early years. But human love being as mutable as
it is, and people and conditions being so liable to change, it is
impossible to arrive at any permanent marriage system which allows for
this. It must, however, be remembered that, in the majority of unhappy
unions, it is not the system, but the individuals who are to blame. The
institution of the conjugal novitiate would, however, reduce the number
of divorces considerably, by making less possible the miserable misfits
in temperament now so prevalent. It would give a second chance to those
who had made a mistake, yet without resulting in that promiscuity of
intercourse which is a danger to society and fatal to the best interests
of the race. Of what other scheme can the same be said?
For married women in the novitiate period a new prefix would have to be
invented, which they would retain if the union were dissolved. _Mrs_
would be the distinguishing prefix of women who had entered on the final
and permanent state of matrimony. Whether the wife would take the
husband’s surname during the probationary term would be another question
for decision by the majority; I should incline to her retaining her
maiden name with the aforesaid prefix, and only assuming that of the
husband with the Mrs of finality. But these are mere details.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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