Modern marriage and how to bear itBraby, Maud Churton
Science
Modern marriage and how to bear it
Braby, Maud Churton
Marriage
As regards the important question of the children, the issue of a
probationary union would, of course, be legitimate, but I think wise
people would see to it that no children were born to them until the
marriage had been finally ratified. Certainly children would be the
exception rather than the rule, but the question of their custody in the
case of dissolved marriages would be one requiring the most thoughtful
legislation. To divide the child’s time between the parents is an
undesirable expedient, and one that must to a certain extent be harmful,
since a settled existence and routine is so essential for children’s
well-being. Yet to deprive the father of them altogether is equally
undesirable.
The conjugal novitiate is not a new scheme. It was practised prior to
the Reformation in Scotland under the name of ‘hand-fasting.’ The
parties met at the annual fairs, and by the ceremony of joining hands
declared themselves man and wife for a year. On the anniversary of this
function they were legally married by a priest--if all had gone well
with them. If they had found the union a failure they parted.
PART IV
CHILDREN--THE _CUL-DE-SAC_ OF ALL REFORMS
‘An early result, partly of her sex, partly of her passive strain
is the founding, through the instrumentality of the first savage
Mother, of a new and beautiful social state--Domesticity. . . . One
day there appears in this roofless room that which is to teach the
teachers of the world--a Little Child.’ --HENRY DRUMMOND.
‘Every good woman is by nature a mother, and finds best in
maternity her social and moral salvation. She shall be saved in
child-bearing.’ --GRANT ALLEN.
‘Children are a man’s power and his honour.’ --HOBBES.
I
TO BEGET OR NOT TO BEGET--THE QUESTION OF THE DAY
‘Marriage is therefore rooted in family rather than family in
marriage.’ --WESTERMARCK.
If we could leave children out of the question, the readjustment of the
conjugal conditions would be simple enough. But Amoret has truly called
this problem ‘the _cul-de-sac_ of all reforms.’ Any system, whatever its
form, whether leasehold marriage, free love, polygamy, polyandry, or
duogamy--any scheme that tends to confuse the fatherhood of the child,
or deprive the child of the solid advantages of a permanent home--is
hopeless from the start. This, however, obviously applies only to the
couples who have children. Formerly those who married expected to have a
family, and were disappointed if this hope were not fulfilled. That it
was possible to limit the number of their offspring, or even to avoid
parenthood entirely, was of course unknown to them. Nowadays all this is
changed, and the doctrines of Malthus obtain everywhere.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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