Modern marriage and how to bear itBraby, Maud Churton
Science
Modern marriage and how to bear it
Braby, Maud Churton
Marriage
Bernard Shaw says: ‘The artificial sterilisation of matrimony is the
most revolutionary discovery of the nineteenth century.’ It certainly
makes possible the revolutionary suggestions about marriage, or rather
_would_ make them more feasible if the ‘discovery’ were universally put
into practice.
Let us take it then, that where children are desired no relaxation of
our present marriage system is advisable, and that people who wish to
experiment in new matrimonial schemes must resolutely avoid the
‘_cul-de-sac_ of all reforms,’ and remain childless.
To beget or not to beget--that is the question nowadays, and a very
vexed question it is. There is hardly a subject on which opinions are
more diversified. Some people regard parenthood as the most horrible
disaster; others think that to die without creating is to have lived
uselessly. I heard a woman say once: ‘I hate children; it’s much better
to keep a few dear dogs,’ and she was not an ignorant or devitalised
girl, but a healthy, sensible, fully developed young woman of
six-and-twenty. Not long ago another woman, in announcing her engagement
to me, added in the same breath that she didn’t mean to have children on
any account. Mr George Moore, in that sinister and repulsive book, _The
Confessions of a Young Man_ says: ‘That I may die childless, that when
my hour comes I may turn my face to the wall, saying, I have not
increased the great evil of human life--then, though I were murderer,
fornicator, thief, and liar, my sins shall melt even as a cloud. But he
who dies with children about him, though his life were in all else an
excellent deed, shall be held accursed by the truly wise, and the stain
upon him shall endure for ever.’ (One wonders on reading this why Mr
Moore continues to perpetuate the great evil of human life in his own
person, when he could so easily end his existence without paining
anyone!)
But I have heard many people, both men and women, married and single,
say that without children marriage is meaningless, in which opinion I
heartily concur. More than one young woman dowered with generous blood,
vitality, and courage has confided in me that whether she should marry
or not she wished to be a mother at all costs. It is one of the
disastrous results of men’s shrinking from matrimony that fine women
like these must deliberately stifle this glorious passion of motherhood,
or pay a terrible price for expressing it--a price exacted not only from
themselves but from the child to whom they have given life. Such women,
however, are not often met with.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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