Modern Skepticism: A Journey Through the Land of Doubt and Back Again: A Life Story — John Shaqi
Modern Skepticism: A Journey Through the Land of Doubt and Back Again: A Life StoryBarker, Joseph
Religion
Modern Skepticism: A Journey Through the Land of Doubt and Back Again: A Life Story
Barker, Joseph
Barker, Joseph, 1806-1875; Methodist Church -- Clergy -- Biography; Skepticism
So when a man has travelled far along the way of life, especially if he
has ventured on strange paths, and come in contact with strange
characters, and had altogether a large and varied experience, it is
natural, as he draws near to the end of his journey, or when he reaches
one of its more important stages, that he should feel disposed to
communicate to his friends and kindred some of the incidents of his
life's pilgrimage, and some of the lessons which his experience may have
engraven on his heart. He will especially be anxious to guard those who
have life's journey yet before them, against the errors into which he
may have fallen, and so preserve them from the sorrows that he may have
had to endure.
And so it is with me. I have travelled far along the way of life. I may
now be near its close. I have certainly of late passed one of its most
important stages. I have had a somewhat eventful journey. There are but
few perhaps who have had a larger or more varied experience. I have
committed great errors, and I have in consequence passed through
grievous sorrows; and I would fain do something towards saving those who
come after me from similar errors and from similar sorrows: and this is
the object of the work before you.
At an early period, when I was little more than sixteen years of age, I
became a member of the Methodist society. Before I was twenty I became a
local preacher. Before I was twenty-three I became a travelling
preacher; and after I had got over the first great difficulties of my
calling, I was happy in my work; as happy as a mortal man need wish to
be. It was my delight to read good books, to study God's Word and works,
and to store my mind with useful knowledge. To preach the Gospel, to
turn men from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, and
to promote the instruction and improvement of God's people were the joy
and rejoicing of my soul. There were times, and those not a few, when I
could sing with Wesley--
"In a rapture of joy my life I employ,
The God of my life to proclaim:
'Tis worth living for this, to administer bliss
And salvation in Jesus's name."
And I was very successful in my work. I never travelled in a circuit in
which there was not a considerable increase of members, and in one place
where I was stationed, the numbers in church-fellowship were more than
doubled in less than eighteen months.
In those days it never once entered my mind that I could ever be
anything else but a Christian minister: yet in course of time I ceased
to be one; ceased to be even a Christian. I was severed first from the
Church, and then from Christ, and I wandered at length far away into the
regions of doubt and unbelief, and came near to the outermost confines
of eternal night. And the question arises,
How happened this? And how happened it that, after having wandered so
far away, I was permitted to return to my present happy position?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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