There’s Anna Maria, a young woman grown, How often I wish she would marry! She goes out every night (I can’t keep her at home) With a young chap who calls himself Harry. Out of doors, once, I bolted her tight, And on the door I put a bar there, But she said “Let me in, or I’ll stop out all night.” Now there was a sight for a father! Our Tom was so proud, he vowed he would be Either a Squire or a Knight, Sir, So to better his fortune he bolted from me, And for many years kept out of sight, sir. I stept in a shop to get shaved t’other day, And my face was covered with lather, When I found it was Tom who was scraping away, Now here was a sight for a father! On going home once, there was the devil to pay, My wife she was calling for water, From the neighbours I learnt some man ran away With Amelia, my good-looking daughter. My youngest girl Nance, on the very same day, Wrote a letter, which made me mad rather, To say she was in a particular way. Now here was a sight for a father! I’ve three great hulking boys, who in service won’t stop, They’re too lazy to earn their own victuals, They only seem happy when in the gin-shop, And I’m told they’re all sharpers at skittles. I get up every night to let in the dears, But as soon as they spy their mamma there, They jump into my bed, and I sleep on the chairs. Now there’s a fine sight for a father! There’s my last daughter Bet, the worst of them yet, Her heart must be hard as the path stones, For she’s run away with a queer-looking chap, Who goes about selling of hearth stones. With a bag on her back I met her once plump, (I couldn’t help wishing her farther) Crying out, “Hearth stones, a penny a lump.” Now here was a sight for a father! Now all married men, pray take my advice, And if you would keep your honest right, Sirs, Don’t let your daughters dress up over nice, Nor ramble out late of a night, Sirs. Keep your girls at their needles, your boys at their pens, I’ve bought my experience dear, rather, But be sure keep your girls away from the men, Or, there’ll be a fine sight for a father! _HUMOURS OF BARTLEMY FAIR._