Although angry, she is calm, and, indeed, scarcely cares to give way to
indignation before Lowry, whom she has always looked upon with great
kindness and rather in the light of a boy. She is a little sorry for
him, too, that he should have chosen to make a fool of himself with
her, who, she cannot help feeling, is his best friend. For to all the
moodiness and oddity of his nature she has been singularly lenient,
bearing with him when others would have lost all patience. And this is
her reward. For a full minute Lowry seems confounded. Then, "I must
indeed be bereft of reason," he says, in a low, intense voice, "if I am
to believe that you can receive like this the assurance of my love. It
cannot be altogether such a matter of wonder--my infatuation for
you--as you would have me think, considering how you"--in a rather
choked tone--"led me on."
"'Led you on'! My dear Mr. Lowry, how can you talk so foolishly? I
certainly thought I knew you very well, and"--docketing off each item
on her fingers--"I let you run my messages now and then; and I danced
with you; and you sent me the loveliest flowers in London or out of it;
and you were extremely kind to me on all occasions; but then so many
other men were kind also, that really beyond the flowers,"--going back
to her second finger,--"(which were incomparably finer than those I
ever received from any one else), I don't see that you were more to me
than the others."
"Will you not listen to me? Will you not even let me plead my cause?"
"Certainly not, considering what a cause it is. You must be mad."
"You are cold as ice," says he, losing his head. "No other woman but
yourself would consent to live as you do. A wife, and yet no wife!"
"Mr. Lowry," says Lady Stafford, with much dignity but perfect temper,
"you forget yourself. I must really beg you not to discuss my private
affairs. The life I lead might not suit you or any single one of your
acquaintance, but it suits me, and that is everything. You say I am
'cold,' and you are right: I am. I fancied (wrongly) my acknowledged
coldness would have prevented such a scene as I have been forced to
listen to, by you, to-day. You are the first who has ever dared to
insult me. You are, indeed, the first man who has ever been at my feet,
metaphorically speaking or otherwise; and I sincerely trust," says Lady
Stafford, with profound earnestness, "you may be the last, for anything
more unpleasant I never experienced."
"Have you no pity for me?" cries he, passionately. "Why need you scorn
my love? Every word you utter tears my heart, and you,--you care no
more than if I were a dog! Have you no feeling? Do you never wish to be
as other women are, beloved and loving, instead of being as now----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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