“Well, to simplify it somewhat, was he, or rather had he ever been
connected with any organization sequestered for secular concerns and
devoted to self-sacrifice in the interests of morality?”
“All down but nine—set ’em up on the other alley, pard.”
“What did I understand you to say?”
“Why, you’re most too many for me, you know. When you get in with your
left I hunt grass every time. Every time you draw, you fill; but I don’t
seem to have any luck. Let’s have a new deal.”
“How? Begin again?”
“That’s it.”
“Very well. Was he a good man, and——”
“There—I see that; don’t put up another chip till I look at my hand. A
good man, says you? Pard, it ain’t no name for it. He was the best man
that ever—pard, you would have doted on that man. He could lam any
galoot of his inches in America. It was him that put down the riot last
election before it got a start; and everybody said he was the only man
that could have done it. He waltzed in with a spanner in one hand and a
trumpet in the other, and sent fourteen men home on a shutter in less
than three minutes. He had that riot all broke up and prevented nice
before anybody ever got a chance to strike a blow. He was always for
peace, and he would _have_ peace—he could not stand disturbances. Pard,
he was a great loss to this town. It would please the boys if you would
chip in something like that and do him justice. Here once when the Micks
got to throwing stones through the Methodis’ Sunday-school windows, Buck
Fanshaw, all of his own notion, shut up his saloon and took a couple of
six-shooters and mounted guard over the Sunday-school. Says he, ‘No
Irish need Apply!’ And they didn’t. He was the bulliest man in the
mountains, pard! He could run faster, jump higher, hit harder, and hold
more tanglefoot whisky without spilling than any man in seventeen
counties. Put that in, pard—it’ll please the boys more than anything you
could say. And you can say, pard, that he never shook his mother.”
“Never shook his mother?”
“That’s it—any of the boys will tell you so.”
“Well, but why _should_ he shake her?”
“That’s what _I_ say—but some people does.”
“Not people of any repute.”
“Well, some that averages pretty so-so.”
“In my opinion the man that would offer personal violence to his own
mother ought to——”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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