Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
He moved to the window, feeling like Rip van Winkle. And presently the
sweet air, playing about his aching brow, restored him so considerably
that he was able to make deductions and arrive at the truth. The last
thing he could recollect was the man Twist handing him a tall glass. In
that glass, it now became evident, must have lurked the cause of all
his troubles. With an imbecile lack of the most elementary caution,
inexcusable in one who had been reading detective stories all his life,
he had allowed himself to be drugged.
It was a bitter thought, but he was not permitted to dwell on it for
long. Gradually, driving everything else from his mind, there stole
upon him the realization that unless he found something immediately
to slake the thirst which was burning him up he would perish of
spontaneous combustion. There was a jug on the wash stand, and,
tottering to it, he found it mercifully full to the brim. For the next
few moments he was occupied, to the exclusion of all other mundane
matters, with the task of seeing how much of the contents of this jug
he could swallow without pausing for breath.
This done, he was at leisure to look about him and examine the position
of affairs.
That he was a prisoner was proved directly he tested the handle of the
door. And, as further evidence, there were those bars on the window.
Whatever else might be doubtful, the one thing certain was that he
would have to remain in this room until somebody came along and let him
out.
His first reaction on making this discovery was a feeling of irritation
at the silliness of the whole business. Where was the sense of it? Did
this man Twist suppose that in the heart of peaceful Worcestershire he
could immure a fellow for ever in an upper room of his house?
And then his clouded intellect began to function more nimbly. Twist's
behaviour, he saw, was not so childish as he had supposed. It had been
imperative for him to gain time in order to get away with his loot;
and, John realized, he had most certainly gained it. And the longer
he remained in this room, the more complete would be the scoundrel's
triumph.
John became active. He went to the door again and examined it
carefully. A moment's inspection showed him that nothing was to be
hoped for from that quarter. A violent application of his shoulder did
not make the solid oak so much as quiver.
He tried the window. The bars were firm. Tugging had no effect on them.
There seemed to John only one course to pursue.
He shouted.
It was an injudicious move. The top of his head did not actually come
off, but it was a very near thing. By a sudden clutch at both temples
he managed to avert disaster in the nick of time, and tottered weakly
to the bed. There for some minutes he remained while unseen hands drove
red-hot rivets into his skull.
Presently the agony abated. He was able to rise again and make his way
feebly to the jug, which he had now come to look on as his only friend
in the world.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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