Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
"Yes, sir. I had it from his own lips in person. And do you know what
he done? He took that stuff out of the closet and sent his chauffeur
over to Worcester to put it in the Left Luggage place at the depôt
there."
"What!"
"Yes, sir."
"Gee!" said Mr. Twist, impressed. "That was smooth. Then you haven't
got it, do you mean?"
"No. I haven't got it."
Mr. Twist had never expected to feel anything in the nature of elation
that day or for many days to come, but at these words something like
ecstasy came upon him. He uttered a delighted laugh, which, owing to
sudden agony in the head, changed to a muffled howl.
"So, after all your smartness," he said, removing his hands from his
temples as the spasm passed, "you're no better off than what I am?"
"We're both sitting pretty, Chimpie, if we get together and act quick."
"How's that? Act how?"
"I'll tell you. This chauffeur guy left the stuff and brought home the
ticket...."
"... and gave it to old man Carmody, I suppose? Well, where does that
get us?"
"No, sir! He didn't give it to old man Carmody. He gave it to that
young Carroll fellow!" said Mr. Molloy.
The significance of the information was not lost upon Chimp. He stared
at Mr. Molloy.
"Carroll?" he said. "You mean the bird upstairs?"
"Is he upstairs?"
"Sure he's upstairs. Locked in a room with bars on the window. You're
certain he has the ticket?"
"I know he has. So all we've got to do now is get it off him."
"That's all?"
"That's all."
"And how," inquired Chimp, "do you propose to do it?"
Mr. Molloy made no immediate reply. The question was one which, in the
intervals of dodging the pedals of his bicycle, he had been asking
himself ever since he had left Rudge Hall. He had hoped that in the
enthusiasm of the moment some spontaneous solution would leap from his
old friend's lips, but it was plain that this was not to be.
"I thought maybe you would think of a way, Chimpie," he was compelled
to confess.
"Oh? Me, eh?"
"You're smart," said Mr. Molloy, deferentially. "You've got a head.
Whatever anyone's said about you, no one's ever denied that. You'll
think of a way."
"I will, will I? And while I'm doing it, you'll just sit back, I
suppose, and have a nice rest? And all you're suggesting that I'm to
get out of it...."
"Now, Chimpie!" quavered Mr. Molloy. He had feared this development.
"... is a measly one-third. Say, let me tell you...."
"Now, Chimpie," urged Mr. Molloy, with unshed tears in his voice,
"let's not start all that over again. We settled the terms. Gentlemen's
agreement. It's all fixed."
"Is it? Come down out of the clouds, you're scaring the birds. What I
want now, if I'm going to do all the work and help you out of a tough
spot, is seventy-thirty."
"Seventy-thirty!' echoed Mr. Molloy, appalled.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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