Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
The question was a purely rhetorical one, and received no reply. Mr.
Molloy uttered an odd, strangled sound like a far-away cat with a
fishbone in its throat, and Chimp's waxed moustache seemed to droop
at the ends. It occurred to both of them that they had never realized
before what a remarkably muscular, well-developed young man John was.
It was also borne in upon them that there are exceptions to the rule
which states that big men are always good-humoured. John, they could
not help noticing, looked like a murderer who had been doing physical
jerks for years.
"I've a good mind to break both your necks," said John.
At these unpleasant words, Mr. Molloy came to life sufficiently to be
able to draw back a step, thus leaving his partner nearer than himself
to the danger zone. It was a move strictly in accordance with business
ethics. For if, Mr. Molloy was arguing, Chimp claimed seventy per cent.
of the profits of their little venture, it was only fair that he should
assume an equivalent proportion of its liabilities. At the moment, the
thing looked like turning out all liabilities, and these Mr. Molloy was
only too glad to split on a seventy-thirty basis. So he moved behind
Chimp, and round the bulwark of his body, which he could have wished
had been more substantial, peered anxiously at John.
John, having sketched out his ideal policy, was now forced to descend
to the practical. Agreeable as it would have been to take these two men
and bump their heads together, he realized that such a course would be
a deviation from the main issue. The important thing was to ascertain
what they had done with the loot, and to this inquiry he now directed
his remarks.
"Where's that stuff?" he asked.
"Stuff?" said Chimp.
"You know what I mean. Those things you stole from the Hall."
Chimp, who had just discovered that he was standing between Mr. Molloy
and John, swiftly skipped back a pace. This caused Mr. Molloy to skip
back, too. John regarded this liveliness with a smouldering disfavour.
"Stand still!" he said.
Chimp stood still. Mr. Molloy, who had succeeded in getting behind him
again, stood stiller.
"Well?" said John. "Where are the things?"
Even after the most complete rout on a stricken battle field a beaten
general probably hesitates for an instant before surrendering his
sword. And so now, obvious though it was that there was no other course
before them but confession, Chimp and Soapy remained silent for a
space. Then Chimp, who was the first to catch John's eye, spoke hastily.
"They're in Worcester."
"Whereabouts in Worcester?"
"At the depôt."
"What depôt?"
"There's only one, isn't there?"
"Do you mean the station?"
"Sure. The station."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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