Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
"I fail to...." began Colonel Wyvern. And then his eye fell on the slip
of paper, and pomposity slipped from him like breath off a razor blade.
"What--what----?" he said.
"Moral and intellectual damages," said John. "My uncle feels he owes it
to you."
Silence fell upon the room. The Colonel had picked up the cheque and
was scrutinizing it as if he had been a naturalist and it some rare
specimen encountered in the course of his walks abroad. His eyebrows,
disentangling themselves and moving apart, rose in an astonishment he
made no attempt to conceal. He looked from the cheque to Mr. Carmody
and back again.
"Good God!" said Colonel Wyvern.
With a sudden movement he tore the paper in two, burst into a crackling
laugh and held his hand out.
"Good God!" he cried jovially. "Do you think I want money? All I ever
wanted was for you to admit you were an old scoundrel and murderer, and
you've done it. And if you knew how lonely it's been in this infernal
place with no one to speak to or smoke a cigar with...."
Mr. Carmody had risen, in his eyes the look of one who sees visions and
beholds miracles. He gazed at his old friend in awe. Long as he had
known him, it was only now that he realized his true nobility of soul.
"Wyvern!"
"Carmody," said Colonel Wyvern, "how are the pike?"
"The pike?" Mr. Carmody blinked, still dazed. "Pike?"
"In the moat. Have you caught the big one yet?"
"Not yet."
"I'll come up and try for him this afternoon, shall I?"
"Yes."
"He says 'Yes'," said John, interpreting.
"And only just now," said Colonel Wyvern, "I was savaging my daughter
because she wanted to marry into your family!"
"What's that?" cried Mr. Carmody, and John clutched the edge of the
table. His heart had given a sudden, ecstatic leap, and for an instant
the room had seemed to rock about him.
"Yes," said Colonel Wyvern. He broke into another of his laughs, and
John could not help wondering where Pat had got that heavenly tinkle of
silver bells which served her on occasion when she was amused. Not from
her father's side of the family.
"Bless my soul!" said Mr. Carmody.
"Yes," said Colonel Wyvern. "She came to me just before you arrived and
told me that she wanted to marry your nephew Hugo."
CHAPTER XV
I
Some years before, in pursuance of his duties as a member of the
English Rugby Football fifteen, it had become necessary for John one
rainy afternoon in Dublin to fall on the ball at a moment when five or
six muscular Irish forwards full of Celtic enthusiasm were endeavouring
to kick it. Until this moment he had always ranked that as the most
unpleasant and disintegrating experience of his life.
His fingers tightened their clutch on the table. He found its support
grateful. He blinked, once very quickly as if he had just received a
blow in the face, and then a second time more slowly.
"Hugo?" he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account