Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
She was looking lovelier than ever. That was the thing that first
presented itself to John's notice. If anybody had told him that Pat
could possibly be prettier than the image of her which he had been
carrying about with him all these months, he would not have believed
him. But so it was. Some sort of a female with plucked eyebrows and
a painted face had just come in, and she might have been put there
expressly for purposes of comparison. She made Pat seem so healthy,
so wholesome, such a thing of the open air and the clean sunshine,
so pre-eminently fit. She looked as if she had spent her time at Le
Touquet playing thirty-six holes of golf a day.
"Pat!" cried John, and something seemed to catch at his throat. There
was a mist in front of his eyes. His heart was thumping madly.
She extended her hand composedly. In her this meeting after long
separation had apparently stirred no depths. Her demeanour was
friendly, but matter-of-fact.
"Well, Johnnie. How nice to see you again. You're looking very brown
and rural. Where's Hugo?"
It takes two to hoist a conversation to an emotional peak. John choked,
and became calmer.
"He'll be here soon, I expect," he said.
Pat laughed indulgently.
"Hugo'll be late for his own funeral--if he ever gets to it. He said
eleven-fifteen and it's twenty-five to twelve. Have you got a table?"
"Not yet."
"Why not?"
"I'm not a member," said John, and saw in her eyes the scorn which
women reserve for male friends and relations who show themselves
wanting in enterprise. "You have to be a member," he said, chafing
under the look.
"I don't," said Pat with decision. "If you think I'm going to wait all
night for old Hugo in a small lobby with six draughts whizzing through
it, correct that impression. Go and find the head waiter and get a
table while I leave my cloak. Back in a minute."
John's emotions as he approached the head waiter rather resembled
those with which years ago he had once walked up to a bull in a field,
Pat having requested him to do so because she wanted to know if bulls
in fields really are fierce or if the artists who depict them in
comic papers are simply trying to be funny. He felt embarrassed and
diffident. The head waiter was a large, stout, smooth-faced man who
would have been better for a couple of weeks at Healthward Ho, and he
gave the impression of having disliked John from the start.
John said it was a nice evening. The head waiter did not seem to
believe him.
"Has--er--has Mr. Carmody booked a table?" asked John.
"No, monsieur."
"I'm meeting him here to-night."
The head waiter appeared uninterested. He began to talk to an underling
in rapid French. John, feeling more than ever an intruder, took
advantage of a lull in the conversation to make another attempt.
"I wonder.... Perhaps.... Can you give me a table?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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