Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
"It was this way ..." began John. But Pat had turned to the desk, and
was asking the porter for her key. If a female martyr in the rougher
days of the Roman Empire had had occasion to ask for a key, she would
have done it in just the voice which Pat employed. It was not a loud
voice, nor an angry one,--just the crushed, tortured voice of a girl
who has lost her faith in the essential goodness of humanity.
"You see ..." said John.
"Are there any letters for me?" asked Pat.
"No, no letters," said the night porter; and the unhappy girl gave a
little sigh, as if that was just what might be expected in a world
where men who had known you all your life took you to Places which
they ought to have Seen from the start were just Drinking-Hells, while
other men, who also had known you all your life, and, what was more,
professed to love you, skipped through doors in the company of flashy
women and left you to be treated by the police as if you were a common
criminal.
"What happened," said John, "was this...."
"Good night," said Pat.
She followed the porter to the lift, and Hugo, producing a
handkerchief, dabbed it lightly over his forehead.
"Dirty weather, shipmate!" said Hugo. "A very deep depression off the
coast of Iceland, laddie."
He placed a restraining hand on John's arm, as the latter made a
movement to follow the Snow Queen.
"No good, John," he said gravely. "No good, old man, not the slightest.
Don't waste your time trying to explain to-night. Hell hath no fury
like a woman scorned, and not many like a girl who's just had to give
her name and address in a raided night club to a plain-clothes cop who
asked her to repeat it twice and then didn't seem to believe her."
"But I want to tell her why...."
"Never tell them why. It's no use. Let us talk of pleasanter things.
John, I have brought off the coup of a lifetime. Not that it was my
idea. It was Ronnie Fish who suggested it. There's a fellow with a
brain, John. There's a lad who busts the seams of any hat that isn't a
number eight."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about this amazingly intelligent idea of old Ronnie's.
It's absolutely necessary that by some means Uncle Lester shall be
persuaded to cough up five hundred quid of my capital to enable me to
go into a venture second in solidity only to the Mint. The one person
who can talk him into it is Ronnie. So Ronnie's coming to Rudge."
"Oh?" said John, uninterested.
"And to prevent Uncle Lester making a fuss about this, I've invited old
man Molloy and daughter to come and visit us as well. That was Ronnie's
big idea. Thos. is rolling in money, and, once Uncle Lester learns
that, he won't kick about Ronnie being there. He loves having rich men
around. He likes to nuzzle them."
"Do you mean," cried John, "that that girl is coming to stay at Rudge?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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