Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
"Sure it's not. It's just the way the light falls."
Mr. Molloy resumed his examination with growing content.
"Yes," he said complacently, "that's a face which for business purposes
is a face. I may not be the World's Sweetheart, but nobody can say I
haven't got a map that inspires confidence. I suppose I've sold more
bum oil stock to suckers with it than anyone in the profession. And
that reminds me, honey, what do you think?"
"What?" asked Mrs. Molloy, removing cream with a towel.
"We're sitting in the biggest kind of luck. You know how I've been
wanting all this time to get hold of a really good prospect--some guy
with money to spend who might be interested in a little oil deal?
Well, that Carmody fellow we met to-night has invited us to go and
visit at his country home."
"You don't say!"
"I do say!"
"Well, isn't that the greatest thing. Is he rich?"
"He's got an uncle that must be, or he couldn't be living in a place
like he was telling me. It's one of those stately homes of England you
read about."
Mrs. Molloy mused. The soft smile on her face showed that her day
dreams were pleasant ones.
"I'll have to get me some new frocks ... and hats ... and shoes ... and
stockings ... and ..."
"Now, now, now!" said her husband, with that anxious alarm which
husbands exhibit on these occasions. "Be yourself, baby! You aren't
going to stay at Buckingham Palace."
"But a country-house party with swell people...."
"It isn't a country-house party. There's only the uncle besides those
two boys we met to-night. But I'll tell you what. If I can plant a good
block of those Silver River shares on the old man, you can go shopping
all you want."
"Oh, Soapy! Do you think you can?"
"Do I think I can?" echoed Mr. Molloy scornfully. "I don't say I've
ever sold Central Park or Brooklyn Bridge to anybody, but if I can't
get rid of a parcel of home-made oil stock to a guy that lives in the
country I'm losing my grip and ought to retire. Sure, I'll sell him
those Silver Rivers, honey. These fellows that own these big estates in
England are only glorified farmers when you come right down to it, and
a farmer will buy anything you offer him, just so long as it's nicely
engraved and shines when you slant the light on it."
"But, Soapy...."
"Now what?"
"I've been thinking. Listen, Soapy. A home like this one where we're
going is sure to have all sorts of things in it, isn't it? Pictures, I
mean, and silver and antiques and all like that. Well, why can't we,
once we're in the place, get away with them and make a nice clean-up?"
Mr. Molloy, though conceding that this was the right spirit, was
obliged to discourage his wife's pretty enthusiasm.
"Where could you sell that sort of stuff?"
"Anywhere, once you got it over to the other side. New York's full of
rich millionaires who'll buy anything and ask no questions, just so
long as it's antiques."
Mr. Molloy shook his head.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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