Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
"I think Hugo's off his head," said John. "He was running round the
garden last night, dashing himself against trees. He said he was
chasing a burglar."
Pat was not to be diverted into a discussion of Hugo's mental
deficiencies.
"Well, will you do your best, Johnnie? Don't just let things slide
as if they didn't matter. I tell you, it's rotten for me. Father
found me talking to Hugo the other day and behaved like something out
of a super-film. He seemed sorry there wasn't any snow, so that he
couldn't drive his erring daughter out into it. If he knew I was up
here to-night he would foam with fury. He says I mustn't speak to you
or Hugo or Mr. Carmody or Emily--not that I want to speak to Emily,
the little blighter--nor your ox nor your ass nor anything that is
within your gates. He's put a curse on the Hall. It's one of those
comprehensive curses, taking in everything from the family to the mice
in the kitchen, and I tell you I'm jolly well fed up. This place has
always been just like a home to me, and you ..."
John paused in the act of dipping his paddle into the water.
"... and you have always been just like a brother ..."
John dug the paddle down with a vicious jerk.
"... and if Father thinks it doesn't affect me to be told I mustn't
come here and see you, he's wrong. I suppose most girls nowadays would
just laugh at him, but I can't. It isn't his being angry I'd mind--it
would hurt his feelings so frightfully if I let him down and went
fraternizing with the enemy. So I have to come here on the sly, and if
there's one thing in the world I hate it's doing things on the sly. So
do reason with that old pig of an uncle of yours, Johnnie. Talk to him
like a mother."
"Pat," said John fervently, "I don't know how it's going to be done,
but if it can be done I'll do it."
"That's the stuff! You're a funny old thing, Johnnie. In some ways
you're so slow, but I believe when you really start out to do anything
you generally put it through."
"Slow?" said John, stung. "How do you mean, slow?"
"Well, don't you think you're slow?"
"In what way?"
"Oh, just slow."
In spite of the fact that the stars were shining bravely, the night was
very dark, much too dark for John to be able to see Pat's face; he got
the impression that, could he have seen it, he would have discovered
that she was smiling that old mocking smile of hers. And somehow,
though in the past he had often wilted meekly and apologetically
beneath this smile, it filled him now with a surge of fury. He plied
the paddle wrathfully, and the boat shot forward.
"Don't go so fast," said Pat.
"I thought I was slow," retorted John, sinking back through the years
to the repartee of school days.
Pat gurgled in the darkness.
"Did I wound you, Johnnie? I'm sorry. You aren't slow. It's just
prudence, I expect."
Prudence! John ceased to paddle. He was tingling all over, and there
had come upon him a strange breathlessness.
"How do you mean, prudence?"
"Oh, just prudence. I can't explain."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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