Monica: A Novel, Volume 3 (of 3)Everett-Green, Evelyn
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Monica: A Novel, Volume 3 (of 3)
Everett-Green, Evelyn
Forgiveness -- Fiction; Love stories; Marriage -- Fiction
Monica shuddered, a sense of horror creeping over her. She did
not catch the whole of his words, lost as that hoarse whisper was
sometimes in the sullen plash of the advancing waves. The words were
not addressed to her, but to some imaginary object visible only to the
eye of madness. She attached no meaning to what she heard. She had
no clue by which to unravel the workings of his disordered mind. Yet
it was terrible to see his terror-stricken face, and listen to the
exclamations addressed to a phantom foe. She tried to recall him to
himself.
“Conrad, there is no one here but ourselves. You have been dreaming.”
Conrad turned his wild eyes towards her, but continued to point wildly
over the sea.
“Can you not see him? There—out there! His head—his eyes—ah, those
eyes!—as he looked _then_—then! Ah, don’t look so at me, I say! You
will kill me!”
He buried his face in his hands and shuddered from head to foot.
Monica, despite the shiver of horror that crept over her, felt more
strongly than anything else a deep pity for one whose mind was so
visibly shattered. Much of the past could be condoned to one whose
mental faculties were so terribly unstrung. She came one step nearer,
and laid her hand upon his arm.
“You should not be out here alone,” she said. “You had better go home.
It is growing dark already. If you will come with me to the lodge,
I will see that you have a lantern; or, if you like, I will send a
servant with a lantern with you.” She felt, indeed, that he was hardly
in a condition to be out alone. She wished Tom Pendrill could see him
now. But at the touch of her hand Conrad sprang back as if she had
struck him. His eyes were full of shrinking horror.
“Go away!” he said fiercely, “your hand burns me—it burns me, I say!
How can you look at me or touch me? What have I done that you come here
day by day to torment me? Is it not enough that _he_ leaves me no peace
night or day?—that he brings me down to this cursed place, whether I
will or no, but you must haunt me too? Ah, it is too much—it is too
much, I say!”
She could not catch all these rapidly-uttered words, but she read the
hopeless misery of his face.
“I do not wish to distress you, Conrad. Will you go home quietly now?
You are not well; you should not be out here alone. Have you anybody
there to take care of you?”
He laughed again, and flung his arms above his head with a wild gesture
of despair.
“You say this to me—you! you! It only wanted this. My God, this is too
much!”
He turned from her and sprang away in the darkness. She heard his steps
as he dashed recklessly up the cliff path—so recklessly that she half
expected to hear the sound of a slip and a fall—and then as he reached
the summit and turned inland, they died away into silence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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