Monica: A Novel, Volume 3 (of 3)Everett-Green, Evelyn
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Monica: A Novel, Volume 3 (of 3)
Everett-Green, Evelyn
Forgiveness -- Fiction; Love stories; Marriage -- Fiction
“Ah! no! no! It could not be. It would be too unspeakably awful—too
horrible! How do you know? How can you say such things? What has put
such a hideous thought into your mind?”
“I came from standing by Fitzgerald’s bed, listening to his words of
wandering, his delirious outbursts. It is plain enough what phantoms
are haunting him now—what pictures he is seeing, as he lies in the
stupor of drink and opium. He is trying to drown thought and remorse,
but he has not succeeded yet.”
Beatrice shuddered strongly, and faltered a little in her walk. Tom
took her hand and placed it within his arm.
“You are tired, Beatrice?”
“No; but it is so awful. Tom”—calling him so as unconsciously as he had
called her Beatrice—“must Monica know this? Oh! it was cruel enough
before—but this——”
“She shall never know,” said Tom quickly. “To what end should we add
this burden to what she carries now? No one could prove it—it may be
nothing more than some sick fancy, engendered by the thought of what
might have been. Mind you, I have no moral doubts myself; but the man
is practically mad, and no confession or evidence given by him would be
accepted. He has fulfilled his vow—he has murdered—practically murdered
his foe; but Monica must be spared the knowledge: she must never know.”
“No, never! never!” cried Beatrice; and her voice expressed so much
feeling, that Tom turned and looked at her in the fading light.
“Have you a heart after all, Beatrice?” he asked.
She made no answer; her heart beat wildly, answering in its own fashion
the question asked, but not in a way that he could hear.
“Beatrice,” rather fiercely, “why did you not marry the marquis?”
“Because I loathed him.”
“You did not always loathe him?”
“I did, I did, always.”
“You flirted with him disgracefully, then.”
She looked up with something of pleading in her dark eyes.
“I was but eighteen.”
“Do you never flirt now?”
She looked up again, her eyes flashing strangely.
“What right have you to ask such a question?”
“The right of the man who loves you,” he answered, in the same
half-fierce, half-bitter way—“who loves you with every fibre of his
being; and although he has proved you vain and frivolous and heartless
once and again, cannot tear your image from his heart. Do not think
I am complaining. I suppose you have a right to please yourself; but
sometimes I feel as if no man had ever been treated so abominably as I
have been by you.”
“You by me!” she answered, panting in her excitement, “when it was you
who left me in a fury, without one word of farewell.”
“I thought I had had my _congé_ pretty distinctly.”
“You had had nothing of the kind—nothing but a few wild confused
words from a mere child, frightened and bewildered by happiness and
nervousness into the silliest of speeches a silly girl could make at
such a moment. But you cannot understand—you never will—you are made of
stone, I think.”
He turned upon her quickly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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