Monica: A Novel, Volume 3 (of 3)Everett-Green, Evelyn
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Monica: A Novel, Volume 3 (of 3)
Everett-Green, Evelyn
Forgiveness -- Fiction; Love stories; Marriage -- Fiction
“I thought revenge would be sweet; but it has been
bitter—bitter—bitter! I have known no peace night or day. I have been
ceaselessly haunted by the sight of that ghastly face—ah, I see it now!
Every time I lie down to sleep I am doomed to do that hideous deed
again. I have fled time after time from the scene of my crime, only to
be dragged back by a power I cannot resist. I knew that a terrible
retribution would come; yet I could not keep away. And now—yes, it has
come—more terrible than ever I pictured. I am dying—in his house—and
you—his wife—are watching over me. Ah, it is frightful! Is there
forgiveness with God for sin like mine? You say His mercies are great.
Can they cover this hideous deed? Monica, can _you_ forgive?”
He spoke with the wild, passionate appeal of despair. The anguish and
remorse in his face were terrible to see; but Monica did not speak. She
sat rigid and still, as pale as death, her eyes glowing like living
fire in the wild conflict of her feelings. This was terrible—too
terrible to be borne.
“Monica, I am dying—dying! The shadows are closing round me. Ah, do
not turn away! It is all so dark; if you desert me I am lost indeed!
If you were dying you would understand. Monica, you say God is
good—merciful. I have asked His pardon again and again for this black
sin, and even as I pray it seems as if you—your pale, still face—rises
ever between me and the forgiveness I crave. I read by this token that
to you I must confess this blackest sin; of you I must ask pardon too.
I have repented. I do repent. I would give my life to call him back.
Monica, forgive—forgive! Have mercy upon a dying man. As you will one
day ask pardon at God’s hands even for your blameless life, give me
your pardon ere I die!”
Who shall estimate the struggle that raged in Monica’s soul during
the brief moments that followed this appeal—moments that to her were
like hours, years, for the concentrated passion of feeling that surged
through them? She felt as if she had grown sensibly older, ere, white
and shaken by the conflict, she won the victory over herself.
She rose and stood beside him.
“Conrad, I forgive you. May God forgive you as I do.”
A sudden light flashed into his dim eyes. The awful, unspeakable horror
passed slowly away. The deep darkness lifted a little—a very little—and
Monica saw that it was so.
“I think—you have—saved me,” he whispered, whilst the death damp
gathered on his brow. “Monica, you will have your reward for this—I
know it—I feel it. Ah! is this death? Monica—it is coming—teach me to
pray—I cannot—I have forgotten—help me!”
“I will help you, Conrad. Say it after me. ‘Our Father which art in
Heaven, Hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on
earth as it is in Heaven; Give us this day our daily bread; And forgive
us our trespasses; As we forgive’——”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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