Psychological fiction; Science fiction; Short stories
One step more. Taking the syringe from his pocket, he plunged the needle
into his forearm and tossed the instrument down a waste chute. He took
three more steps and paused uncertainly.
When he looked about him it was with the expression of a man waking from
a vivid dream.
"Quite ingenious," Graves murmured admiringly. "You had your mind
already preconditioned for the shot. But why would you deliberately give
yourself amnesia?"
"What better disguise than to believe the part you're playing?"
"A good man must have done that job on your mind," Bergstrom commented.
"I'd have hesitated to try it myself. It must have taken a lot of trust
on your part."
"Trust and money," Zarwell said drily.
"Your memory's back then?"
Zarwell nodded.
"I'm glad to hear that," Bergstrom assured him. "Now that you're well
again I'd like to introduce you to a man named Vernon Johnson. This
world ..."
Zarwell stopped him with an upraised hand. "Good God, man, can't you see
the reason for all this? I'm tired. I'm trying to quit."
"Quit?" Bergstrom did not quite follow him.
"It started on my home colony," Zarwell explained listlessly. "A gang of
hoods had taken over the government. I helped organize a movement to get
them out. There was some bloodshed, but it went quite well. Several
months later an unofficial envoy from another world asked several of us
to give them a hand on the same kind of job. The political conditions
there were rotten. We went with him. Again we were successful. It seems
I have a kind of genius for that sort of thing."
He stretched out his legs and regarded them thoughtfully. "I learned
then the truth of Russell's saying: 'When the oppressed win their
freedom they are as oppressive as their former masters.' When they went
bad, I opposed them. This time I failed. But I escaped again. I have
quite a talent for that also.
"I'm not a professional do-gooder." Zarwell's tone appealed to Bergstrom
for understanding. "I have only a normal man's indignation at injustice.
And now I've done my share. Yet, wherever I go, the word eventually gets
out, and I'm right back in a fight again. It's like the proverbial
monkey on my back. I can't get rid of it."
He rose. "That disguise and memory planting were supposed to get me out
of it. I should have known it wouldn't work. But this time I'm not going
to be drawn back in! You and your Vernon Johnson can do your own
revolting. I'm through!"
Bergstrom did not argue as he left.
Restlessness drove Zarwell from his flat the next day--a legal holiday
on St. Martin's. At a railed-off lot he stopped and loitered in the
shadow of an adjacent building watching workmen drilling an excavation
for a new structure.
When a man strolled to his side and stood watching the workmen, he was
not surprised. He waited for the other to speak.
"I'd like to talk to you, if you can spare a few minutes," the stranger
said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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