“Here’s Murder, Envy, Strife (Propensity to kill any), And Lies as large as life, And heaps of Social Villany. “Here’s Love of Bran-New Clothes, Embezzling—Arson—Deism— A taste for Slang and Oaths, And Fraudulent Trusteeism. “Here’s Love of Groundless Charge— Here’s Malice, too, and Trickery, Unusually large Your bump of Pocket-Pickery—” “Stop!” said the Bart., “my cup Is full—I’m worse than him in all; Policeman, take me up— No doubt I am some criminal!” That Pleeceman’s scorn grew large (Phrenology had nettled it), He took that Bart. in charge— I don’t know how they settled it. THE FAIRY CURATE ONCE a fairy Light and airy Married with a mortal; Men, however, Never, never Pass the fairy portal. Slyly stealing, She to Ealing Made a daily journey; There she found him, Clients round him (He was an attorney). Long they tarried, Then they married. When the ceremony Once was ended, Off they wended On their moon of honey. Twelvemonth, maybe, Saw a baby (Friends performed an orgie). Much they prized him, And baptized him By the name of GEORGIE. GEORGIE grew up; Then he flew up To his fairy mother. Happy meeting— Pleasant greeting— Kissing one another. “Choose a calling Most enthralling, I sincerely urge ye.” “Mother,” said he (Rev’rence made he), “I would join the clergy. “Give permission In addition— Pa will let me do it: There’s a living In his giving— He’ll appoint me to it. Dreams of coff’ring, Easter off’ring, Tithe and rent and pew-rate, So inflame me (Do not blame me), That I’ll be a curate.” She, with pleasure, Said, “My treasure, ’T is my wish precisely. Do your duty, There’s a beauty; You have chosen wisely. Tell your father I would rather As a churchman rank you. You, in clover, I’ll watch over.” GEORGIE said, “Oh, thank you!” GEORGIE scudded, Went and studied, Made all preparations, And with credit (Though he said it) Passed examinations. (Do not quarrel With him, moral, Scrupulous digestions— ’Twas his mother, And no other, Answered all the questions.) Time proceeded; Little needed GEORGIE admonition: He, elated, Vindicated Clergyman’s position. People round him Always found him Plain and unpretending; Kindly teaching, Plainly preaching, All his money lending.