And sympathetic gaolers would remark, “It’s very true, He ain’t been brought up common, like the likes of me and you.” So they took him into hospital, and gave him mutton chops, And chocolate, and arrowroot, and buns, and malt and hops. Kind Clergymen, besides, grew interested in his fate, Affected by the details of his pitiable state. They waited on the Secretary, somewhere in Whitehall, Who said he would receive them any day they liked to call. “Consider, sir, the hardship of this interesting case: A prison life brings with it something very like disgrace; It’s telling on young WILLIAM, who’s reduced to skin and bone— Remember he’s a gentleman, with money of his own. “He had an ample income, and of course he stands in need Of sherry with his dinner, and his customary weed; No delicacies now can pass his gentlemanly lips— He misses his sea-bathing and his continental trips. “He says the other prisoners are commonplace and rude; He says he cannot relish uncongenial prison food. When quite a boy they taught him to distinguish Good from Bad, And other educational advantages he’s had. “A burglar or garotter, or, indeed, a common thief Is very glad to batten on potatoes and on beef, Or anything, in short, that prison kitchens can afford,— A cut above the diet in a common workhouse ward. “But beef and mutton-broth don’t seem to suit our WILLIAM’S whim, A boon to other prisoners—a punishment to him. It never was intended that the discipline of gaol Should dash a convict’s spirits, sir, or make him thin or pale.” “Good Gracious Me!” that sympathetic Secretary cried, “Suppose in prison fetters MISTER WILLIAM should have died! Dear me, of course! Imprisonment for _Life_ his sentence saith: I’m very glad you mentioned it—it might have been For Death! “Release him with a ticket—he’ll be better then, no doubt, And tell him I apologize.” So MISTER WILLIAM’S out. I hope he will be careful in his manuscripts, I’m sure, And not begin experimentalizing any more. PASHA BAILEY BEN A PROUD Pasha was BAILEY BEN, His wives were three, his tails were ten; His form was dignified, but stout, Men called him “Little Roundabout.” _His Importance_ Pale Pilgrims came from o’er the sea To wait on PASHA BAILEY B., All bearing presents in a crowd, For B. was poor as well as proud. _His Presents_ They brought him onions strung on ropes, And cold boiled beef, and telescopes, And balls of string, and shrimps, and guns, And chops, and tacks, and hats, and buns. _More of them_ They brought him white kid gloves, and pails, And candlesticks, and potted quails, And capstan-bars, and scales and weights, And ornaments for empty grates. _Why I mention these_